考研英语一2016年大作文失分点批改

2016年考研英语一大作文是启航考研英语备考清单中的必练题型。本文带来的高分批改范例，配套启航教育老师的逐句批注与预测话题标签，适合考研英语考生在冲刺阶段精读精练，是一套完整的写作提升资料。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand picture,there is a father requesting his son to study hard, but he is watching TV and the son feel confused and unfair about it.In the right-hand picture both father and son are studying hard and it seems that the father makes a great example to his son.Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that it is company and making a example to children that plays an important and positive role in teaching kids.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.First and foremost,nowadays most parents only pay great attention to the objective support for their children but ignore the mental cultivation.What’s more,instead of critical commanding,making a example and accompanying children studying hard can help children build a hobby of it which will provide children with more sustainable and powerful energy when children encounter difficulties in the future.

In brief,a meaningful and right homeschooling is the catalyst for children’s development.Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice.Additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of rude and irresponsible teaching from parents to ensure children’s growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：feel

批改：单三feels

批改：加逗号断句

原文：makes

批改：树立榜样用sets

原文：making

批改：setting

原文：a

批改：an

原文：to

批改：固定搭配，改成for

原文：In the left-hand picture,there is a father requesting his son to study hard, but he is watching TV and the son feel confused and unfair about it.In the right-hand picture both father and son are studying hard and it seems that the father makes a great example to his son.Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that it is company and making a example to children that plays an important and positive role in teaching kids.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：making

批改：setting

原文：a

批改：an

批改：加逗号，让后面的which引导非限定从

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.First and foremost,nowadays most parents only pay great attention to the objective support for their children but ignore the mental cultivation.What’s more,instead of critical commanding,making a example and accompanying children studying hard can help children build a hobby of it which will provide children with more sustainable and powerful energy when children encounter difficulties in the future.

批改：该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述，语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子，值得表扬。

原文：In brief,a meaningful and right homeschooling is the catalyst for children’s development.Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice.Additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of rude and irresponsible teaching from parents to ensure children’s growth stays on course.

批改：起到了呼吁和号召的作用，紧扣主题，语言连贯完整。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15/20

内容切题，全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，元音开头的单词前用an修饰以及注意树立榜样的固定表达为“set an example for”；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯；语法方面，注意主谓一致问题。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节问题会更好。继续加油。

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