本文精选了一篇得分13分以上的2011年考研英语二大作文高分范例,并附启航老师对该范文的逐句批改。文中清晰展示了考研英语写作锦囊评分细则中关于语法多样性、词汇丰富度与逻辑连贯性的得分技巧,是考研英语学习的高价值内容。
一、考研英语二2011年大作文题目
考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)
二、考研英语二2011年大作文批改例文
空格
必须使用黑色字迹书写:在答题卡区域内作答,超出黑色矩形边框限定区域的答案无效
The bar chart clearly delicts car market of part brand of domestic between 2008 to 2009. In 2008, the number of domestic production was approximately 27%, but by 2009, this figure had gradually risen to 33%. In contrast, the mumber of Japanse brand experienced a slow decline of about 9% during the same period 2008 to 2009. Simultaneously, the number of America brand remained stable and steady
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start, Chinese society is undergoing an extensive and profound transformations. In my view, the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress made by China"s manufucturing industry in responding to these changes. In addition, In the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people"s attitudes towards of consumption have undergone significant changes, green transportation is people"s general chose, This explains why an increasing mumber of people choose domestic brand rather than Japanse brand. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confindent that the momber of domestic brand will steadily increase in the following decades.
必须使用黑色字迹书写:在答题卡区域内作答,超出黑色矩形边框限定区域的答案无效
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三、考研英语作文批改
原文:delicts
批改:拼写错误(应为 “depicts”)
原文:car market of part brand of domestic
批改:表达混乱(应为 “market shares of major domestic and foreign car brands in China from 2008 to 2009”);“between...to” 搭配错误(应为 “from...to”)
原文:the number of domestic production
批改:表达错误(应为 “the market share of domestic brands”)
原文: the mumber of Japanse brand
批改:“mumber”“Japanse” 拼写错误(应为 “number”“Japanese”);“the number of Japanse brand” 表达错误,图标是所占份额(应为 “the market share of Japanese brands”)
原文:2008 to 2009
批改:已经提到了same period 同一时期,可以将后面的年份删去
原文:brand
批改:复数“brands”
原文:the number of
批改:“the market share”
原文:transformations
批改:单复数错误(应为 “transformation”)
原文:manufucturing
批改:拼写错误(应为 “manufacturing”)
原文: I
批改:逗号后首字母小写
原文:of
批改:删去
原文:chose
批改:词性错误(应为 “choice”)
原文:mumber
批改:“number”
原文: Japans
批改:“Japanese”
原文:brand
批改:复数 brands
原文:brand
批改:复数 brands
原文:confindent
批改:“confident”
原文:mombe
批改:“number”
原文: the momber of domestic brand
批改:表达错误(应为 “the market share of domestic brands”)
原文:The bar chart clearly delicts car market of part brand of domestic between 2008 to 2009. In 2008, the number of domestic production was approximately 27%, but by 2009, this figure had gradually risen to 33%. In contrast, the mumber of Japanse brand experienced a slow decline of about 9% during the same period 2008 to 2009. Simultaneously, the number of America brand remained stable and steady
批改:描述图表内容,符合题目要求
原文:The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start, Chinese society is undergoing an extensive and profound transformations. In my view, the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress made by China"s manufucturing industry in responding to these changes. In addition, In the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people"s attitudes towards of consumption have undergone significant changes, green transportation is people"s general chose, This explains why an increasing mumber of people choose domestic brand rather than Japanse brand. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:提出了自己的观点,使用了表示逻辑关系的连接词,条理较为清晰
原文:What about future trends? I am confindent that the momber of domestic brand will steadily increase in the following decades.
批改:预测未来趋势,结构完整
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:10
这篇图表分析文能捕捉 “2008-2009 年国产汽车品牌份额上升、日系下降、美系稳定” 的核心趋势,但存在一些问题:一是拼写错误频发(如 “delicts”“manufucturing”“confindent”),基础表达不规范;二是核心概念表述混乱(如 “the number of domestic production”),用词精准度严重不足。明确形容占比的句子表达,希望继续努力,加油!
本文精解的2011年考研英语二范文,在启航教育AI智能批改系统中拿到了高分评价。快速揪出失分点,对着薄弱点学提升更快,是考研英语写作锦囊备考的贴心帮手。扫码预约,免费体验考研英语作文AI智能批改。
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