考研英语一2016年大作文实例分析与批改

想在考研英语一大作文中写出有深度的论证段落？本文精解的2016年考研英语一真题范文，从论据选择、过渡句使用到结尾点题都极具参考价值。启航教育考研英语教研组对该篇范文的批注，有助于考生建立完善的写作逻辑。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left - hand cartoon, there is a little boy sitting at the desk with a look of reluctance, while his father is watching a ball game on TV, demanding his son, "Son, you must study hard for me!" On the contrary, in the right - hand portrayal, both the father and son are studying hard at the desk. Several Chinese characters can be noticed below the pictures, which say "Rather than merely giving demands, you should set an example." These two pictures are simple but enlightening in several ways.

It is a common phenomenon nowadays that parents dictate every aspect of their children"s study and life. However, they don"t manage to build a positive learning atmosphere and some even can"t set a good example in terms of living habits. Every parent hopes their child will become outstanding, but they overlook the inherent requirement: they need to practice what they preach to their kids. A case in point is my father, he devotes himself to reading in his leisure time; when we travel, he instructs me on how to render scenes vividly for subsequent essay writing. He maintains a disciplined lifestyle, with no smoking or drinking. As a guiding light in my life, his positive influence is indispensable to my development into the self - disciplined individual with physical and mental health I am today.

In brief, positive examples are the catalyst for children"s development, from which they are bound to benefit. Parents" exemplary conduct is like a lighthouse, guiding children toward growth and excellence, for it is through such guidance that kids can truly embrace the power of self-discipline and holistic well-being.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：In the left - hand cartoon, there is a little boy sitting at the desk with a look of reluctance, while his father is watching a ball game on TV, demanding his son, "Son, you must study hard for me!" On the contrary, in the right - hand portrayal, both the father and son are studying hard at the desk. Several Chinese characters can be noticed below the pictures, which say "Rather than merely giving demands, you should set an example." These two pictures are simple but enlightening in several ways.

批改：对漫画内容描述的很全面，语言连贯。

原文：It is a common phenomenon nowadays that parents dictate every aspect of their children"s study and life. However, they don"t manage to build a positive learning atmosphere and some even can"t set a good example in terms of living habits. Every parent hopes their child will become outstanding, but they overlook the inherent requirement: they need to practice what they preach to their kids. A case in point is my father, he devotes himself to reading in his leisure time; when we travel, he instructs me on how to render scenes vividly for subsequent essay writing. He maintains a disciplined lifestyle, with no smoking or drinking. As a guiding light in my life, his positive influence is indispensable to my development into the self - disciplined individual with physical and mental health I am today.

批改：能够举例论证使得论点更有说服力，值得表扬。

原文：n brief, positive examples are the catalyst for children"s development, from which they are bound to benefit. Parents" exemplary conduct is like a lighthouse, guiding children toward growth and excellence, for it is through such guidance that kids can truly embrace the power of self-discipline and holistic well-being.

批改：起到了呼吁和号召的作用，紧扣主题，语言连贯完整。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：19/20

内容切题，准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，无拼写错误，词汇掌握的很好；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯；语法方面，语法基础很好。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。

可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬，继续加油。

无论你是2026年考生还是备战2027考研英语，精读本文的2016年考研英语一批改范例都能为你的写作带来提升。启航教育的写作主讲与AI智能批改系统全天候待命，为你的考研英语一大作文冲刺保驾护航。