对于考研英语一而言,2016年大作文常以图画形式呈现。本文精解的这篇图画批改范例,启航教育老师逐句解读图画细节、寓意提炼与评论展开三步走,是考研英语作文万能句型图画作文的经典教学样本。
一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目
考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文
What a meaningful carToon! As shown in the two picture, father watching TV and asking his son study well, but his son can"t pay attention to enjoy the knowledge on the left one In contrast, when the father studys as a goal, his son read the book seriously. Besides, there is a sentence which reads rather requirements than as a goal. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that goal"s strengh is indispenable in daily live.
First and foremost, in the wake of rapid advancement of the society fulls of chances and challenges, a fantastic goal can help us ehance ourselves independently.What is more, setting a reasonable goal can not only effectively improve your competitiveness, but also gradually achieve the realization of self-worth. More importantly, it can help you clamly deal with the rapidly changing society.Last but not least, without a great goal, it will hinders our progress, disgenerating all kinds of aspects of live.
In brief, a suitable example is the catalyst for personal development. Only in this way, can we gain a bright future!
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: carToon!
批改:cartoon”
原文:As shown in the two picture, father watching TV and asking his son study well, but his son can"t pay attention to enjoy the knowledge on the left one
批改:语法修正:“father watching TV” 改为 “the father is watching TV(补充谓语动词,构成完整句子);“asking his son study” 改为 “asking his son to study”(固定搭配 “ask sb. to do sth.”);“can"t pay attention to enjoy” 改为 “can"t focus on learning”(“pay attention to” 后接动名词,“focus on learning” 更贴合 “学习知识” 场景); 修正:“What a meaningful cartoon! As shown in the two pictures, on the left, the father is watching TV while asking his son to study hard, but the son can"t focus on learning.”
原文:picture
批改:“picture” 改为 “pictures”(复数匹配 “two”)
原文:tudys as a goal, his son read the book seriously. Besides, there is a sentence which reads rather requirements than as a goa
批改:语法修正:“studys” 改为 “studies”;“read” 改为 “reads”(主语 “his son” 为第三人称单数,谓语一致);“rather requirements than as a goal” 改为 “instead of mere requirements, set an example”(还原图画核心标语 “与其提要求,不如做榜样”,原表达语义偏离); 表达优化:“as a goal” 改为 “sets an example by studying”(贴合图画内容,父亲通过自身学习做榜样,而非 “以学习为目标”); 修正:“In contrast, on the right, when the father sets an example by studying, his son reads books seriously. Besides, there is a caption in the picture that reads: "Instead of mere requirements, set an example."”
原文:goal"s strengh is indispenable i
批改:“strengh” 改为 “strength”;“indispenable” 改为 “indispensable”; “goal"s strength” 改为 “the power of setting an example”(图画核心是 “榜样” 而非 “目标”,原主旨理解偏差); 修正:“Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey that the power of setting an example is indispensable in daily life.”
原文: fulls
批改:“fulls of” 改为 “full of”(“be full of” 为固定搭配,无需第三人称单数)
原文: ehance
批改:enhance 主旨贴合:“a fantastic goal” 改为 “setting a good example”(修正核心话题,围绕 “榜样” 展开); 修正:“First and foremost, amid the rapid development of society full of opportunities and challenges, setting a good example can help us inspire others to improve independently.”
原文: setting a reasonable goal
批改:主旨贴合:“setting a reasonable goal” 改为 “being a role model”(保持话题一致)
原文:chieve the realization of self-worth
批改:简化为 “realize self-worth”(避免冗余)
原文:clamly
批改:拼写calmly What’s more, being a role model can not only effectively enhance people’s competitiveness but also help them gradually realize self-worth. More importantly, it enables people to calmly cope with the rapidly changing society.
原文:a great goal, it will hinders our progress, disgenerating a
批改:语法修正:“hinders” 改为 “hinder”(“will” 后接动词原形);“degenerating” 改为 “impairing”(“degenerate” 为不及物动词,“impair” 更贴合 “损害各方面发展”); 主旨贴合:“without a great goal” 改为 “without setting a good example”;“all kinds of aspects of live” 改为 “various aspects of life”; 修正:“Last but not least, without setting a good example, it will hinder our progress and impair various aspects of life.”
原文: a suitable example
批改: “setting a positive example”(更精准)
批改:优点:试图对比两幅图画的差异,包含 “父亲行为”“儿子反应” 等核心元素,符合 “简要描述图画” 的要求;有提炼主旨的意识。 不足:存在大量拼写和语法错误;核心主旨理解偏差(误将 “榜样” 理解为 “目标”);图画标语翻译错误,语义偏离;句式杂糅,表达不流畅。
批改:优点:使用衔接词串联论点,逻辑框架清晰;试图从 “积极作用” 和 “反面影响” 展开论证,论证结构合理。 不足:核心话题偏离(全程围绕 “目标” 而非 “榜样”),导致论证与图画主旨脱节;拼写和语法错误较多;部分表达冗余生硬,缺乏具体例证支撑,说服力不足。
原文:!
批改:优点:简洁总结观点,有呼吁升华的意识,符合结尾段功能。 不足:核心概念仍偏离 “榜样” 主题;句式稍显生硬,语法细节不规范。
原文:,
批改:删去逗号 这是一个典型的“倒装句”结构。当“only + 状语”(如:in this way, then, by doing...等)放在句首表示强调时,句子需要主谓倒装。 正常语序: We can gain a bright future only in this way. 倒装语序(强调“only in this way”): Only in this way can we gain a bright future. 语法规则是: 在“only + 状语”引导的倒装句中,主语和谓语之间不需要逗号。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:8/20 分
本文结构完整(图画描述 - 意义阐释 - 结尾评论),但核心任务完成度极低,存在致命短板:一是图画主旨理解严重偏差,将 “榜样的力量” 误读为 “目标的重要性”,导致全文论证与题干要求脱节,属于跑题范畴;二是基础语言错误密集,包括拼写、语法、固定搭配错误等,严重影响表达准确性和卷面观感;三是表达生硬冗余,论证缺乏具体例证,说服力不足。需优先提升 “图画主旨解读能力”,确保紧扣核心话题,再集中修正基础语言错误,补充具体论证细节。
参考作文:
As shown in the two pictures, there is a striking contrast in parent-child interaction. On the left, the father is watching TV while urging his son to study hard, but the boy can barely focus on his books. On the right, the father sets an example by studying earnestly, and his son follows suit, reading quietly and attentively. A caption in the pictures aptly summarizes the core message: “Instead of mere requirements, set an example.”
The cartoon vividly highlights the profound power of role models, especially in family education. Parents are their children’s first teachers, and their behaviors speak louder than words. When parents practice what they preach, children are more likely to internalize good habits and positive values. For instance, a parent who loves reading will naturally cultivate a child’s interest in books, while a parent who avoids laziness will inspire the child to be diligent. In contrast, empty demands without corresponding actions will only trigger resistance and distrust, failing to achieve educational goals.
In my view, the power of example is indispensable in all aspects of life, not just family education. Whether as parents, colleagues, or leaders, we should strive to be positive role models through our own behaviors. Only by setting a good example can we effectively influence others, build mutual trust, and create a harmonious environment for growth and progress.
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