考研英语一2016年大作文实例分析与批改

想在考研英语一大作文中写出有深度的论证段落？本文精解的2016年考研英语一真题范文，从论据选择、过渡句使用到结尾点题都极具参考价值。启航教育考研英语教研组对该篇范文的批注，有助于考生建立完善的写作逻辑。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

Diligently and positively,a father and his son ,in the left picture, are doing their own work until midnight, yet in the right picture is a father,who urges his son to concentrate on homework,watching TV alone. Actually, it is a morning call to send us a message that the importance of role models in children’s education has been in the spotlight and aroused wide concern at any inch of social space.

It is hardly necessary for me to cite all the evidence of the revolutionary influences the role model brings about.To begin with, compared with a lazy parent who do not practice what they preach, a good parent encourage their children to be absorbed in textbooks for a brighter future.If one example is needed,I could not but mention the following well-known philosopher,whose name is Andrew D. C,illuminating that parents are the first teachers of a child. Apart from the above-mentioned aspect, another factor contributing to the importance of role models is that young children will unconsciously imitate their parents’ behaviors,words and habits----a natural psychological tendency.It goes without saying that role models in children’s growth is nothing but a necessity.

Taking into account all analyses mentioned above,we may safely arrive at a conclusion that it is ,unquestionably,essential for parents to study with their children rather than spend on recreation, which will give children no excuse for idling away their school days.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：left

批改：right

原文：right

批改：left

原文：Diligently and positively,a father and his son ,in the left picture, are doing their own work until midnight, yet in the right picture is a father,who urges his son to concentrate on homework,watching TV alone. Actually, it is a morning call to send us a message that the importance of role models in children’s education has been in the spotlight and aroused wide concern at any inch of social space.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：a

批改：去掉

原文：parent

批改：parents

原文：a good parent

批改：good parents

原文：is

批改：改成are，注意主谓一致

原文：t is hardly necessary for me to cite all the evidence of the revolutionary influences the role model brings about.To begin with, compared with a lazy parent who do not practice what they preach, a good parent encourage their children to be absorbed in textbooks for a brighter future.If one example is needed,I could not but mention the following well-known philosopher,whose name is Andrew D. C,illuminating that parents are the first teachers of a child. Apart from the above-mentioned aspect, another factor contributing to the importance of role models is that young children will unconsciously imitate their parents’ behaviors,words and habits----a natural psychological tendency.It goes without saying that role models in children’s growth is nothing but a necessity.

批改：该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述，语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子，值得表扬。

原文：Taking into account all analyses mentioned above,we may safely arrive at a conclusion that it is ,unquestionably,essential for parents to study with their children rather than spend on recreation, which will give children no excuse for idling away their school days.

批改：能够提出自己的建议，起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16/20

内容切题，全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意名词单复数的正确使用；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯；语法方面，注意主谓一致问题。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节问题会更好。继续加油。

无论你是2026年考生还是备战2027考研英语，精读本文的2016年考研英语一批改范例都能为你的写作带来提升。启航教育的写作主讲与AI智能批改系统全天候待命，为你的考研英语一作文范文冲刺保驾护航。