作为考研英语备考的核心模块,2017年考研英语一大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文,紧扣考研英语一写作技巧常见话题,由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改,详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点,是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。
一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目
考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文
Diligently and earnestly, a man in the right picture is determined to read twenty books this year, yet in the left picture is a man, proud of his bookshelf, says,”I have so many books.” Actually, it is a morning call to send us a message that the importance of action has been in the spotlight and aroused wide concern at any inch of social space.
It is hardly necessary for me to cite all the evidence of the revolutionary influences action brings about.To begin with, from an individual perspective,those who just set a goal but make no efforts will fail to achieve their dream.In contrast, taking action is the fundamental key to career and academic success.If one example is needed,I could not but mention the following well-known philosopher,whose name is Andrew D.C.,illuminating that actions speak louder than words. Apart from the above-mentioned aspect, another factor contributing to the importance of action is that as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes,our government requires more actual practitioners rather than daydreamers to further propel sustainable development.It goes without saying that action is nothing but a necessity.
Taking into account all analyses mentioned above,we may safely arrive at a conclusion that it is ,unquestionably,essential for everyone to become a doer to promote self-fulfilment and personal growth.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:Diligently and earnestly, a man in the right picture is determined to read twenty books this year, yet in the left picture is a man, proud of his bookshelf, says,”I have so many books.” Actually, it is a morning call to send us a message that the importance of action has been in the spotlight and aroused wide concern at any inch of social space.
批改:能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象,并能够直接点明作文的主题。
原文:It is hardly necessary for me to cite all the evidence of the revolutionary influences action brings about.To begin with, from an individual perspective,those who just set a goal but make no efforts will fail to achieve their dream.In contrast, taking action is the fundamental key to career and academic success.If one example is needed,I could not but mention the following well-known philosopher,whose name is Andrew D.C.,illuminating that actions speak louder than words. Apart from the above-mentioned aspect, another factor contributing to the importance of action is that as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes,our government requires more actual practitioners rather than daydreamers to further propel sustainable development.It goes without saying that action is nothing but a necessity.
批改:该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述,语言衔接连贯。
原文:Taking into account all analyses mentioned above,we may safely arrive at a conclusion that it is ,unquestionably,essential for everyone to become a doer to promote self-fulfilment and personal growth.
批改:该段再次总结强调写作的中心,起到了点题的作用。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:19/20
内容切题,全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,无拼写错误;句式方面,句子结构完整连贯;语法方面,语法基础很好。逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的非常认真,无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰,值得表扬,继续加油。
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