考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大,一直是2013年考研英语一备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语一作文真题话题,给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文,文中不仅有逐句批注,还附有可复制的考研英语一高分写作模板。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
As shown in the picture, there are plenty of graduates who are faced with diverse choices after graduating, mainly including applying for a job, taking postgraduate entrance exams, studying abroad and starting a business. Obviously, some of them are considering about their own future without clear thoughts or decisions, which means that they may be not capable of taking actions immediately after graduating.
What a thought-provoking picture it is! The meaning that the cartoonist wants to convey to us is that we"d better spare no effort to making suitable and proper choices and making full preparations in advance before graduating.
From my perspective, there are two main factors we ought to pay attention to. To start with, exploring what we ourselves possess outstanding talent and intense interest in is the first step, which ensures that we will acquire progress more smoothly on our path. Furthermore, we should enhance our personal capabilities, especially those required for the path we have chosen. Only by doing so can we develop our individual potential and fulfill our aspirations.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:considering about
批改:“consider” 为及物动词,直接接宾语,无需加 “about”
原文:may be not
批改:may not be
原文: graduating
批改:用名词形式graduation更好
原文:As shown in the picture, there are plenty of graduates who are faced with diverse choices after graduating, mainly including applying for a job, taking postgraduate entrance exams, studying abroad and starting a business. Obviously, some of them are considering about their own future without clear thoughts or decisions, which means that they may be not capable of taking actions immediately after graduating.
批改:对 “多元选择” 的场景描述较准确,但对 “选择困境中找到适合的道路” 挖掘不够深入。可强化 “多样性” 与 “适合的道路” 的关联。
原文:spare no effort to making
批改:spare no effort to make
原文:cquire progress
批改:make progress
原文:What a thought-provoking picture it is! The meaning that the cartoonist wants to convey to us is that we"d better spare no effort to making suitable and proper choices and making full preparations in advance before graduating.
批改:内容可再丰富,如选择的影响、现实意义等等
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:16/20
1.题目要求:字数符合题目要求。文章需要分析图画并表明观点,符合题目要求。
2.语言表达:语言表达清晰。语法错误和拼写错误较少。
3.内容层面:基本包含题目要求的内容。若能补充一些相关的具体内容或细节,会让整体表达更充实。
4.修改意见:文章整体较完整,结构较为清晰,按照描述漫画、阐述哲理和提出呼吁的顺序进行写作。在内容上可以再拓展,并强化一些英语的表达。
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