思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向,本文呈现的2011年考研英语二批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面,逐段展示了一篇考研英语作文真题范文高分范文的诞生过程。
一、考研英语二2011年大作文题目
考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)
二、考研英语二2011年大作文批改例文
Elaborately and distinctly,this bar chart given above orderly arranges the figures about the market share of different automobile brands in 2008 and 2009. First and foremost, in 2008, the percentage of domestic brands was 25%,but by 2009,this figure had risen to approximately 30%.In contrast,the proportion of Japanese brands experienced a decline of 10%,falling from 35% to 25% during the same period.
Several factors could weigh heavily for this tendency,yet suspended at the top of the list are the following three aspects.To begin with, against the backdrop of our country’s rapid and dynamic development,the younger generation,particularly those born in the 1990s and 2000s,prioritize domestic cars over foreign vehicles due to their patriotic enthusiasm.Simultaneously,compared to foreign automobiles,many families now embrace homegrown brands for their higher cost-effectiveness and greater reliability.Apart from the above-mentioned aspect, another factor contributing to the growing popularity of Chinese vehicles is that the Chinese government has formulated and implemented a variety of policies to promote the development of China’s automobile sector .
Considering these general illustrations,we may reasonably arrive at a conclusion that the tendency that Chinese vehicles will continually play a critical role in our daily commuting may be irreversible in the foreseeable future.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:weigh heavily for
批改:“weigh heavily” 表达 “对…… 有重大影响、是…… 的重要因素” 时,需用介词 “on” 而不是 “for”
原文:Elaborately and distinctly,this bar chart given above orderly arranges the figures about the market share of different automobile brands in 2008 and 2009. First and foremost, in 2008, the percentage of domestic brands was 25%,but by 2009,this figure had risen to approximately 30%.In contrast,the proportion of Japanese brands experienced a decline of 10%,falling from 35% to 25% during the same period.
批改:描述国产升、日系降、美系持平
原文:Several factors could weigh heavily for this tendency,yet suspended at the top of the list are the following three aspects.To begin with, against the backdrop of our country’s rapid and dynamic development,the younger generation,particularly those born in the 1990s and 2000s,prioritize domestic cars over foreign vehicles due to their patriotic enthusiasm.Simultaneously,compared to foreign automobiles,many families now embrace homegrown brands for their higher cost-effectiveness and greater reliability.Apart from the above-mentioned aspect, another factor contributing to the growing popularity of Chinese vehicles is that the Chinese government has formulated and implemented a variety of policies to promote the development of China’s automobile sector .
批改:列出“爱国热情+性价比+政策”三因,逻辑清晰。不过在提到政策因素时,可以简短补充具体内容,如“such as subsidies for domestic auto manufacturers”(对国产车企的补贴)
原文:Considering these general illustrations,we may reasonably arrive at a conclusion that the tendency that Chinese vehicles will continually play a critical role in our daily commuting may be irreversible in the foreseeable future.
批改:预测未来趋势。如果想要文章更充实,可以简短地描述其他品牌汽车的趋势如何。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:13/15
1.题目要求:字数符合题目要求。文章需要分析图表并写出自己的观点,符合题目要求。
2.语言表达:语言表达清晰。没有明显语法错误和拼写错误。
3.内容层面:文章的结构清晰,有明确的开头、中间和结尾,逻辑连贯。
4.修改意见:这篇文章有效地分析了图表信息,并提供了原因和未来趋势的预测。没有明显语法错误和拼写错误。不过还能再进一步改进:前文已经有提到tendency,后面可以避免重复,使用 trend;factor 在后文可以替换为 element 或 driver等;并适当补充内容,相信你的作文会更高分哒!
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