考研英语一2016年大作文失分点批改

本文是一份经过启航教育整理的2016年考研英语一大作文批改资料，对照考研英语作文话题写作框架与评分标准进行精细讲解。无论是词汇句式、段落衔接还是逻辑展开，本文都能为考研英语考生提供可直接套用的范例。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father, watching TV and asking his son to study hardly. On the contrary, in the right-hand cartoon, there is an another father, studying diligently with his son. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples is the brush that paints a bright future, while negative examples is the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, parents can set a positive example can ignite their children’s creativity, and promote their personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. What is more, a negative example set by parents is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress,depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, positive examples is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which they all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality, additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：hardly

批改：hard 注意区分hard和hardly，“hard” 作副词时可以表示 “努力地”；“hardly” 是副词，表示 “几乎不”。

原文：is

批改：are

原文：is

批改：are

原文：In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father, watching TV and asking his son to study hardly. On the contrary, in the right-hand cartoon, there is an another father, studying diligently with his son. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples is the brush that paints a bright future, while negative examples is the shackle that hinders progress

批改：描述漫画内容，揭示漫画背后所反映的社会现象和深刻哲理，清晰直观。

原文：can

批改：to

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, parents can set a positive example can ignite their children’s creativity, and promote their personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. What is more, a negative example set by parents is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress,depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：以分论点的形式论述好榜样的重要性，逻辑严谨，层次分明。

原文： is

批改：are

原文：n brief, positive examples is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which they all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality, additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改：联系自身，总结全文，升华主题

原文：stays

批改：stay

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15/20

作文对漫画的理解到位，写作思路紧扣主题，有些短语句式的表达也不错，基本能够传达清楚作者的写作意图，但在以下几方面还需注意：

1.语法：个别句子从汉语角度看意思通顺，仔细分析其实句子成分不完整，不符合英语表达方式。

2.细节：考试时可以多积累高级词汇，写作文就能用上，但尤其注意单词拼写不要出现明显错误，特别是与主题词相关的单词要重点留意。

3.内容：两幅图呈现了两位父亲不同的教育方式，形成了鲜明对比：一个是自己做不到，却徒然口头要求孩子努力学习；另一个则以身作则，默默同孩子一起看书。两幅图的寓意是：父母对孩子的教育应当言传身教、以身作则。也可从以下几个方面展开：父母的表率作用；行动的重要性；父母要真正的关心孩子的教育，而不应只停留在口头上等等。

整体来看，作文理解了漫画内涵，段落框架明确，大体上与题目要求保持一致，但是在表达上还存在一定问题。从点评中可以看出作文中有一些表述不当之处，主要体现在主谓不一致等细节问题，后续继续注重练习，加油！

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