考研英语一2016年大作文写作方向与示例

启航教育在考研英语写作教学中反复强调：词汇与句式的高级化是考研英语作文高分的关键。本文整理的2016年考研英语一批改范例，几乎每一段都包含高分替换词与衔接词，是考研英语一作文范文写作锦囊中的代表性范文。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

The two pictures illustrate a scene that different fathers accompany their sons to study. In the left one, the father sits in front of the television with a cigarette in his hand and just tells his son to study without turning his head. In contrast, the father in the right picture writes in front of a table, setting an example to his child beside him. The two pictures presented here depict scenes markedly different, with an underlying meaning that is far-reaching.

Clearly, the pictures reveal a fact that setting examples is always better than flat words. There is a combination of factors responsible for the wide prevalence it has enjoyed in our present-age society. Firstly, it is largely attributed to the fact that parents are children’s long-term teachers, who are much more significant than anyone else. Your kids may learn from your actions rather than the orders you present to them. Meanwhile, it has much to do with ‘equality’, which is pursued by kids between themselves and parents. To be more precise, kids would feel gloomy when you are relaxing but they can’t. Thus, setting an example is significant.

In a word, there can’t be any hesitation to follow the right father in the picture. It can be expected with much assurance that the future of the nation’s children will be more radiant.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：illustrate a scene that diff

批改：illustrate a scene that...：宾语从句的引导词可以优化。通常我们说“depict a scenario in which...”或直接描述。建议将首句调整为：The two pictures illustrate a scenario in which different fathers accompany their sons during study time.

原文：e two pictures illustrate a scene that different fathers accompany their sons to study. In the left one, the father sits in front of the television with a cigarette in his hand and just tells his son to study without turning his head. In contrast, the father in the right picture writes in front of a table, setting an example to his child beside him. The two pictures presented here depict scenes markedly different, with an underlying meaning that is far-reaching.

批改：本段对两幅图的对比描述非常清晰、生动。

原文：arly, the pictures reveal a fact that setting examples is always better than flat words. There is a combination of factors responsible for the wide prevalence it has enjoyed in our present-age society. Firstly, it is largely attributed to the fact that parents are children’s long-term teachers, who are much more significant than anyone else. Your kids may learn from your actions rather than the orders you present to them. Meanwhile, it has much to do with ‘equality’, which is pursued by kids between themselves and parents. To be more precise, kids would feel gloomy when you are relaxing but they can’t. Thus, setting an example is significant.

批改：本段的论证层次清晰，分析角度独特而深刻。

原文：responsible for the wi

批改：responsible for the wide prevalence it has enjoyed：代词“it”的指代对象（是“setting examples”还是前文的“fact”）稍显模糊。可以简化为：...factors contributing to its importance.

原文：rd, there can’t be any hesitation to follow the right father in the picture. It can be expected with much assurance that the future of the nation’s children wi

批改：结尾段简洁地总结了立场并升华了主题

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

总评与修改建议

你的作文拥有一个非常出色的框架，对比描述生动，论证角度独特且富有洞察力，尤其是关于“平等”的论述，显示了很强的思辨能力

当前，阻碍作文达到最高分档的，主要是一些需要更加精雕细琢的语言细节。比如，可以注意代词指代的明确性和人称使用的一致性，这能让严谨的论证显得无懈可击。你已具备了写出高分作文的所有核心要素，只需在语言的最后一道打磨工序上投入更多耐心，你的作文必将冲击最高分数段。

对每一位2027考研人而言，考研英语一作文范文都是冲刺阶段必须攻克的难关。启航教育陪伴一届又一届学子走向考研英语写作高分，本文精解的2016年考研英语一范文正是经典参考之一。欢迎关注启航教育，了解更多考研英语备考干货。