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一、考研英语二2011年大作文题目
考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)
二、考研英语二2011年大作文批改例文
As is shown in the column chart above, we can see different changes in the market share of certain brands in the domestic car markets from 2008 to 2009. Based on the statistics, there is a marked increase in the market portion of the Chinese brands from 25% to 33%, while that of the Japanese brands decreased from 35% to 25%. In the meantime, the share of American brands remained stable.
The phenomenon may be caused by the following factors. First of all, with the advancements of the science and technology, the reason why Chinese brands" market share is increasing is that the advancements offer a better technical foundation to the rapid development of the Chinese car industry. What"s more, the fact that the bad words and behaviors of the Japanese corporations in recent years have broken their image, to some extent, causes that their brands lose more and more customers.
It is advisable that brands should keep their reputation positive so that they can make continuous profits. Besides, they can decrease price to boost sales. Only in the way can the brands get better.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:market portion
批改:market share更符合英文表达
原文:the
批改:多余,应删除
原文:the
批改:应改为this,指代前文提到的方式,表达更明确
原文:As is shown in the column chart above, we can see different changes in the market share of certain brands in the domestic car markets from 2008 to 2009. Based on the statistics, there is a marked increase in the market portion of the Chinese brands from 25% to 33%, while that of the Japanese brands decreased from 35% to 25%. In the meantime, the share of American brands remained stable.
批改:对图表内容描述全面,准确,个别用词可以优化下
原文:The phenomenon may be caused by the following factors. First of all, with the advancements of the science and technology, the reason why Chinese brands" market share is increasing is that the advancements offer a better technical foundation to the rapid development of the Chinese car industry. What"s more, the fact that the bad words and behaviors of the Japanese corporations in recent years have broken their image, to some extent, causes that their brands lose more and more customers.
批改:从技术发展和品牌形象两方面论述,表达流畅,条理清晰
原文:It is advisable that brands should keep their reputation positive so that they can make continuous profits. Besides, they can decrease price to boost sales. Only in the way can the brands get better.
批改:总结上文,表达个人观点,注意 个别用词
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:13
题目要求:对图表信息描绘全面准确,个人观点及论述部分切题;
语言表达:全面没有严重的语病,整体表达通顺,条理清晰,但要注意冠词的使用;
行文逻辑:第一段描述题干内容,第二段给出详细论述,第三段表达个人观点并总结全文,整体架构完整;
修改建议:改正原文错误;积累经典句式;注意冠词的使用;
这篇完成得很好,继续保持~
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