考研英语一2010年大作文实例分析与批改

备战2010年考研英语大作文，先从研读经典高分范文开始。本文汇集的启航教育批改范文中，不仅有原文、批注，还有词汇注释与亮点解析。准备2027考研的同学，可联系启航教育在线咨询考研英语一写作高分规划。

一、考研英语一2010年大作文题目

考研英语一2010年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2010年大作文批改例文

The picture graphically portrays a moving scenario where many materials, such as Confucianism, KungFu, Beijing Opera and so on, has maken up a delicious and nutritious cultural "hot pot”, from Chinese culture to Shakespeare, Einstein. We are informed that nowadays more and more Chinese culture and foreign cultures are blending together, learning from each other gradually.

The phenomenon may be caused by the following factors. First of all, with more people"s ignorance of mental cultivation, the reason why people in growing numbers pay more attention upon wealth and fame is that our society has become benefit-oriented, therefore we ought to emphasis the importance of absorbing native and foreign cultures. Besides, taking in various cultures can broaden our horizons and enrich our mind. What"s more, we may pay a heavy price, if we would not take a correct opinion towards all kinds of cultures.

It is time that the society should form an appropriate atmosphere to various cultures. And it is advisable for us to be intelligent to absorb the good and discard the bad. Only in this way can we live in a brilliant life.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：maken

批改：has made up

原文：from

批改：逻辑不够清晰，可改为incorporating elements from

原文：The picture graphically portrays a moving scenario where many materials, such as Confucianism, KungFu, Beijing Opera and so on, has maken up a delicious and nutritious cultural "hot pot”, from Chinese culture to Shakespeare, Einstein. We are informed that nowadays more and more Chinese culture and foreign cultures are blending together, learning from each other gradually.

批改：描述准确，引出下文

原文： materials

批改：不自然，改为many cultural elements

原文：with more people"s ignorance of mental cultivation

批改：不自然：with people"s increasing neglect of spiritual cultivation

原文：upon

批改：to

原文：,

批改：这里用句号，therefore是副词不是连词

原文：emphasis

批改：改为动词emphasize

原文：mind

批改：mind" 表示“心智”时常用复数 "minds

原文：if we would

批改：条件状语从句中，主句用 "may"（现在时），从句无需用 "would"（过去将来时），应用现在时 "do not" 或 "will not

原文： correct opinion

批改：表达不自然， adopt a correct attitude towards all kinds of cultures

原文：The phenomenon may be caused by the following factors. First of all, with more people"s ignorance of mental cultivation, the reason why people in growing numbers pay more attention upon wealth and fame is that our society has become benefit-oriented, therefore we ought to emphasis the importance of absorbing native and foreign cultures. Besides, taking in various cultures can broaden our horizons and enrich our mind. What"s more, we may pay a heavy price, if we would not take a correct opinion towards all kinds of cultures.

批改：词汇句型丰富

原文： intelligent

批改：改为wise更合适，intelligent指有才智的；悟性强的；聪明的

原文：It is time that the society should form an appropriate atmosphere to various cultures. And it is advisable for us to be intelligent to absorb the good and discard the bad. Only in this way can we live in a brilliant life.

批改：good

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：14/20

1.作文内容包含全面，主题明确，观点独到；

2.运用复杂的语法结构和高级词汇，宾从、主从、表从和虚拟语气运用的非常出彩；

3.采用恰当的衔接手法，内容较为连贯性；

4.文章原创度很高，很多句型和词汇都是自己写的，值得鼓励。同时要多学习老师讲的高分词汇和模板句型，取长补短，减少失误，加油！

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