进入冲刺阶段,每一份考研英语写作锦囊写作资料都弥足珍贵。本文整理的2014年考研英语二批改范例,由启航教育写作主讲亲自精批,已标注高分句型与失分雷区。无论你是考研英语二一还是考研英语二二考生,都能从中找到提分灵感。
一、2014年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2014年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.
二、2014年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts populations of rural and urban in Chinafrom 1990 to 2010. In 1990, the number of urban populations was 300,but by 2010, this figure had gradually risen to 666. Meanwhile, thenumber of rural populations experienced a decline of 60million during thesame period.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarizedas follows. To start! with, As the conductor orchestrating the symphonyof changes, our goverment has made tremendous efforts to build a soundlife system in urban, enabling residents to have convenience conditionsfor live. In addition, in the wake of. the high-speed advancement ofsociety, people pursue more material satisfaction. This explains whyan inceasing number of people choose live in urban rather than rural.Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the number ofurban populations will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast,the number of rural populations will likely continue to remain relativelystable.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:rural and urban
批改:“populations of rural and urban” 表达不自然,应改为 “the population in rural and urban China” 或 “the rural and urban population”。
原文: Chinafrom
批改:“Chinafrom” 应空格, “China from”。
原文:s 300,but by 2010, this figure had gradually risen to 666.
批改:“300”和“666” 后应注明单位 “million”,因为图表纵坐标单位是百万。
原文:he bar chart clearly depicts populations of rural and urban in Chinafrom 1990 to 2010. In 1990, the number of urban populations was 300,but by 2010, this figure had gradually risen to 666. Meanwhile, thenumber of rural populations experienced a decline of 60million during thesame period.
批改:描述段的首要问题是术语使用不准确和关键数据错误
原文:To start! wi
批改:存在多余的标点(“To start! with,”)和断句错误(“in the wake of. the”)
原文:goverme
批改:“goverment” 拼写错误,应为 “government”。
原文:venience conditionsfor liv
批改:“convenience conditions for live” 表达错误且不地道。“convenience” 是不可数名词, “live” 是动词,这里需要用名词。应改为 “convenient living conditions” 或 “a convenient living environment”。
原文:n inceasing number of people choose live in urban rather than rural.Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurpris
批改:“an inceasing number” 拼写错误,应为 “an increasing number”。 “choose live in urban” 语法错误,应为 “choose to live in urban areas”。
原文: core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarizedas follows. To start! with, As the conductor orchestrating the symphonyof changes, our goverment has made tremendous efforts to build a soundlife system in urban, enabling residents to have convenience conditionsfor live. In addition, in the wake of. the high-speed advancement ofsociety, people pursue more material satisfaction. This explains whyan inceasing number of people choose live in urban rather than rural.Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:本段论证空泛且缺乏针对性。“政府建设生活系统”和“人们追求物质满足”是过于宽泛的背景,无法精准解释为什么人口在短短20年内发生如此剧烈的迁移。论证没有触及问题的核心。
原文:number ofurban
批改:“the number ofurban populations” 错误依旧,应为 “the urban population”。
原文:hat about future trends? I am confident that the number ofurban populations will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast,the number of rural populations will likely continue to remain relativelystable.
批改:结尾段功能完整
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:9分
优点:结构完整。
主要失分点:
内容要点:关键数据解读错误;原因分析无效。
语法与词汇:全篇存在大量且严重的语法错误、拼写错误和搭配错误。
总评与修改建议:
正确的表达是 “the population” 或 “the urban/rural population”。
建立纠错本:立即将 “government”, “convenient”, “increasing”, “stable” 这些高频拼错的词记录下来,每天复习。
第二步:学会“精准具体”的论证 (提分关键)
当分析“人口城市化”时,请直接思考:一个农村的年轻人,他为什么要去城市?
可以使用下面这些具体、真实、直接的理由:
就业与收入:城市有更多更好的工作机会和更高的工资。(More and better job opportunities with higher salaries in cities.)
公共服务:城市提供优质的教育和医疗资源。(Better access to high-quality education and healthcare.)
生活方式:城市拥有更完善的基础设施和更现代的生活方式。(More developed infrastructure and a modern lifestyle.)
专业批改是考研英语写作提分直接有效的方式之一。启航教育提供由资深讲师亲批的免费批改服务,针对考研英语二大作文逐句逐段给出修改建议。完成本文精读之后,欢迎将你的作文提交给启航教育,享受考研英语写作锦囊高分批改。
【28考研辅导课程推荐】:28考研集训课程,VIP领学计划,28考研VIP全科定制套餐(公共课VIP+专业课1对1) , 这些课程中都会配有内部讲义以及辅导书和资料,同时会有教研教辅双师模式对大家进行教学以及督学,并配有24小时答疑和模拟测试等,可直接咨询在线客服老师领取大额优惠券。
热门下载
资料下载
院校解析
真题解析
考研数学
考研英语
考研政治
考研备考