考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大,一直是2019年考研英语二备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语二写作技巧话题,给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文,文中不仅有逐句批注,还附有可复制的考研英语二高分写作模板。
一、2019年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2019年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2019年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts the future graduates planed in 2013 and 2018 at a certain university. In 2013, the percentage of joining the workforce was 68.1%, but by 2018, this rate had decreased to 60.7%. Meanwhile, the proportion of continuing their education and starting their own business experienced a increase of 7.7% and 1.3% respectively during the same period.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, the job competition is increasingly acute because more and more students graduate from college. In order to against this issue, many of them decide to continue their education. In addition, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound economic system, inspiring the younger generation to start their own business. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of entrepreneurship and continuing education will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of work will likely continue to decrease relatively stable.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:planed
批改:要用名词复数 plans
原文:business
批改:要用复数 businesses
原文:their own
批改:去掉更符合英文习惯
原文:The bar chart clearly depicts the future graduates planed in 2013 and 2018 at a certain university. In 2013, the percentage of joining the workforce was 68.1%, but by 2018, this rate had decreased to 60.7%. Meanwhile, the proportion of continuing their education and starting their own business experienced a increase of 7.7% and 1.3% respectively during the same period.
批改:对图表的描述较为全面,注意单词词性和单复数
原文:a
批改:an
原文:against
批改:搭配不当,应对问题可以用 tackle
原文:inspiring
批改:表达有误,应改为which inspires,which代指前文“政府做出巨大努力来建立完善的经济系统”
原文:relatively stable
批改:和前面的decrease矛盾,应删除
原文:The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, the job competition is increasingly acute because more and more students graduate from college. In order to against this issue, many of them decide to continue their education. In addition, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound economic system, inspiring the younger generation to start their own business. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:从就业竞争和政府激励两方面论证了图表中的现象,注意个别 语法问题
原文:What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of entrepreneurship and continuing education will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of work will likely continue to decrease relatively stable.
批改:表达个人观点,注意语义的清晰性
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:12/15
题目要求:对图表信息描绘全面准确,个人观点及论述内容符合题意;
语言表达:全文用了较多的经典句式,但也存在少量语法问题,如冠词,单复数,从句等问题,表达上还有提升的空间;
行文逻辑:第一段描述图表内容,第二段分析原因,第三表达观点,整体架构完整;
修改建议:改正原文错误;继续积累经典句式;加强语法练习;
这篇完成得较好,继续努力啊~
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