考研英语一2016年大作文实例分析与批改

2016年考研英语一大作文围绕哪一类话题命题？本文精选的范文聚焦考研英语一作文范文话题方向，结合启航教育多年考研英语一教学沉淀，从描述图表、解读寓意到发表评论三大角度，完整呈现高分作文的内在结构。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

As shown in the left-hand picture, there is a father, lying on the chair and watching TV, with smoking. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another father studies deliberately with his son. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that a difference of example toward kids that can exert a great influence both in personal lives and in society.

On the one hand, a bad example is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook to face future, and depriving them of the ability to think independently. On the other hand, a good example for kids can ignite their creativity, and promote growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming.

In brief, the good example for children is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which a family all stand to benefit. Therefore we should actively promote and advocate this spirit. Only by doing so can we make our society shine with renewed brilliance. Additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of the bad example to ensure children"s growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：that

批改：去掉

原文：As shown in the left-hand picture, there is a father, lying on the chair and watching TV, with smoking. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another father studies deliberately with his son. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that a difference of example toward kids that can exert a great influence both in personal lives and in society.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：On the one hand, a bad example is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook to face future, and depriving them of the ability to think independently. On the other hand, a good example for kids can ignite their creativity, and promote growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming.

批改：能够通过正反两方面进行论述来突出论点，能够运用逻辑关系词，使得句子之间衔接较为连贯。

原文：In brief, the good example for children is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which a family all stand to benefit. Therefore we should actively promote and advocate this spirit. Only by doing so can we make our society shine with renewed brilliance. Additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of the bad example to ensure children"s growth stays on course.

批改：能够提出自己的建议，起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：18/20

内容切题，全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，无拼写错误；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯；语法方面，注意从句的正确使用。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬，继续加油。

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