当你坐在考研英语一考场,面对2017年大作文题目的那一瞬间,是否能快速组织起一篇结构清晰、表达地道的高分文章?本文这篇批改例文,正是考研英语一写作冲刺话题下的标准范本,适合每一位考研英语备考生反复研读。
一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目
考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文
As shown in the left-hand cartoon, there is a man sitting in a sofa and saying that he has so many books. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another man facing his book and saying that he will read twenty books in this year. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that action is the brush that paints a bright future, while laziness is the shochle that hinders prograss.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, in modern society full of changes chances, and challenges, action has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. What is more, laziness is not only merely a chronic posion that stifles potential, but also the Achilles" heal of many young people. It is silently erodes opportunites while wraping the ladder of asent into a self-destructive slide.
In brief, action is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detarimental effects of laziness to ensure our growth stays on course.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:facing
批改:用谓语faces
原文:saying
批改:says
原文:shochle
批改:shackle
原文:prograss
批改:progress
原文:As shown in the left-hand cartoon, there is a man sitting in a sofa and saying that he has so many books. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another man facing his book and saying that he will read twenty books in this year. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that action is the brush that paints a bright future, while laziness is the shochle that hinders prograss.
批改:能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象,并能够直接点明作文的主题。
批改:加逗号
原文:is
批改:去掉is,这句话有谓语erodes
原文:asent
批改:ascent
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, in modern society full of changes chances, and challenges, action has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. What is more, laziness is not only merely a chronic posion that stifles potential, but also the Achilles" heal of many young people. It is silently erodes opportunites while wraping the ladder of asent into a self-destructive slide.
批改:该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述,语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子,值得表扬。
原文: brief, action is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detarimental effects of laziness to ensure our growth stays on course.
批改:能够提出自己的建议,起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15/20
内容切题,准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,注意避免拼写错误;句式方面,句子结构完整连贯;语法方面,注意谓语和非谓语的用法区别以及一句话只能有一个谓语。逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,结构清晰。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的非常认真,无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰,值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节问题会更好。继续加油。
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