本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2016年考研英语一高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注,对照考研英语作文批改热点话题与评分细则,你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。
一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目
考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文
2016年图画作文.《与其只提要求,不如做个榜样.》
必须使用黑色字迹书写:在答题卡区域内作答,超出黑色矩形边框限定区域的答案无效
In the left-hand cartoon, there is a son facing his homework and his father watching TV beside him. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, both the father and son are devoted to their studies. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is a good example that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, a positive example can ignite our creativity. and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. What is more, in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges, a correct leading has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasing evident.
In brief, a good example is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential, fulfill our aspirations and create a happier life.
必须使用黑色字迹书写:在签题卡区域内作签,超出里鱼矩形边框限定区域的答案无效,
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:her wa
批改:is watching TV正在看电视
原文: both in
批改:语序问题 in both
原文: to readers
批改:去掉to readers,convey后面直接加宾语更加自然
原文:In the left-hand cartoon, there is a son facing his homework and his father watching TV beside him. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, both the father and son are devoted to their studies. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is a good example that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:首段开门见山,描述了图画中的信息,符合内容结构的要求。
原文:y.
批改:此处标点符号多余
原文: increasing
批改:increasingly修饰evident,这里用副词
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, a positive example can ignite our creativity. and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. What is more, in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges, a correct leading has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasing evident.
批改:中间论述其背后的原因,句子写的不错,注意一些细节问题。
原文:In brief, a good example is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential, fulfill our aspirations and create a happier life.
批改:结尾句子清晰明了,没有问题。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:16/20
一考试要求:本篇作文是一篇图画作文,要求考生先描述图画中的信息,再对现象进行原因分析。考生的本篇练习满足考试要求。
二语言表达:总体上语言表达不错,注意一些细节问题。考生要通过这篇批改明白这些细节需要去注意,在考试的时候不要出现类似的错误即可。在原因论述部分要写清楚内容,有逻辑有条理。
三行文逻辑:考生一开始描述了图画信息,中间开始分析背后的原因,结尾进行总结,总体符合文章的行文逻辑。
四建议:建议考生珍惜每一次的练习机会,认真对待老师的每一次批改,通过改成错误得到提升,为了最后的也是最重要的考试,继续坚持,加油!
读懂范文只是第一步,写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务,由资深讲师逐句点评,让你清晰掌握考研英语作文批改写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考,从一篇专业批改开始。
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