当你坐在考研英语二考场,面对2011年大作文题目的那一瞬间,是否能快速组织起一篇结构清晰、表达地道的高分文章?本文这篇批改例文,正是考研英语二写作冲刺话题下的标准范本,适合每一位考研英语备考生反复研读。
一、考研英语二2011年大作文题目
考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)
二、考研英语二2011年大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts the changes in some brands proportion in the domestic car market from 2008 to 2009. In 2008, the percentage of domestic cars was approximately 25%, but by 2009, this rate had substantially risen to around 33%. In contrast, the proportion of Japanese cars experienced a significant decline of 10% during the same period. Simultaneously, the percentage of American cars remained stable and steady.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people"s attitudes towards consumption have undergone significant changes, people are no longer purchase mere foreign brands; they also pay more attention to demestic brands. In addition, against the backdrop of our country"s rapid and dynamic development, the younger generation, particulaly those born in 1990s and 2000s are accustomed to using demestic cars and have become the primary consumer group. Considering these factors, the depicited phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of domestic brands will steadily increase in following decades. In Contrast, the proportion of japanese and America brands will likely continue to decrease.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:some brands proportion
批改:改为 the proportion of some brands
批改:语法正确
批改:语法正确
批改:开头段表达不错,清晰地阐述了图表内容
批改:语法正确
原文:,
批改:逗号不能连接两个完整的句子,此处改为句号
原文:people
批改:前面改为句号后,此处首字母大写
原文:2000s
批改:加逗号
批改:语法正确
原文:depicited
批改:depicted
批改:内容表达很好,也很具体
原文:are
批改:be 动词不能和动词原形连用,删去
批改:语法正确
原文:Contrast
批改:此处首字母不大写
原文: japanese
批改:首字母大写
原文:America
批改:改为 American
批改:结尾段内容表达不错
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11分/ 15分
题目要求:总体上来说是切题的,表明的个人观点与图表的内容是贴合的
语言表达:存在几处语法和拼写问题,词汇表达不错,一些句式表达也很好
结构逻辑:文章的结构完整清晰,内容也比较丰富具体
修改建议:1. 语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改 2. 拼写要细心 3. 标点使用和首字母大小写要规范,之后可以多积累素材,自己多练练句子,进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备,提高自己的语言表达,总的来说写的不错,加油!
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