考研英语一2011年大作文真题与例文批改

2011年考研英语一大作文属于典型的图表作文，要求考生准确描述数据变化并深入解读现象。本文精解的这篇柱状图批改范例，完整覆盖考研英语一写作冲刺常考图表的描述思路，是考研英语图表类作文的标杆范例。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the picture, there are two tourists

sitting on a boat and throwing rubbish into the water, which pollutes the river. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to

readers that environmental pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in socienty.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand,environmental pollution is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image. Tragically, on the other hand, although the lack of behavioral standards might contribute to this phenomenon,

its root cause hes in the fact that some individuals, in their poursult of economis interests, have disregarded the importance of protect the environmental.

How can we put an end to the problem of environmental pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal,including issueing related regulations and strengthening moral education.But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to foster the quality of these measure,we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： socienty.

批改：单词拼写错误，改为 society​​

原文：poursult

批改： 单词拼写错误，改为 ​​pursuit​​

原文：economis

批改：单词拼写错误，改为 ​​economic​​

原文： hes

批改：单词拼写错误，改为 ​​lies

原文：protect

批改：介词 of后面应接动词的-ing形式，改为 protecting

原文：environmental.

批改：environmental是形容词，这里需要名词，所以应该是 ​​the environment​​。

原文：issueing

批改：过去分词形式错误，改为 issuing​​。

原文：measure

批改： 名词变复数形式，改为measures

原文：,

批改：两个完整的、独立的句子（we also need to...和 we can effectively tackle...）不能用逗号连接。在逗号后加一个连词，如 so that或者 and

原文：foster the quality of these measur

批改：foster the quality of these measures（培养这些措施的质量）这个搭配在逻辑上不太通顺。措施的质量不是“培养”出来的，而是“确保”或“提升”的。更地道的表达是想说“​​确保这些措施有效​​”或“​​提升这些措施的质量​​”。改为 ​​ensure the effectiveness of these measures

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand,environmental pollution is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image. Tragically, on the other hand, although the lack of behavioral standards might contribute to this phenomenon,

批改：与范文相似度过高，建议还是多去替换成自己的语言，这样才能更有效提高。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：14/20

从结构层面看，本文应该是三段式写作（上传前检查一下段落格式），开头清楚表明图片，中间进行分析，最后做出总结。

从内容层面看，与范文相似度过高，建议还是多去替换成自己的语言。

从语言层面看，单词拼写错误较多，短语搭配不太合适，基本语法常识不太熟练，比如介词后面要加动词的ing形式、动词的变形，标点符号的运用出现错误。

建议：检查单词拼写和语法细节，积累高频词的多种说法，多去同义替换。加油！

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