考研英语一2011年大作文失分点批改

本文精选了一篇得分13分以上的2011年考研英语一大作文高分范例，并附启航老师对该范文的逐句批改。文中清晰展示了考研英语写作技巧评分细则中关于语法多样性、词汇丰富度与逻辑连贯性的得分技巧，是考研英语学习的高价值内容。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the picture, there are two tourists, sitting on a boat, enjoying scenery, and throwing the garbage into the water, which make the river is polluted. Eviendtly, the picture intends to convey to readers that environmental pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

This pnenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, neglecting environmental protection is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation’s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth,but also significantly affecting its international image. What is more, tragically,although the lack of clear rules might contribute to this phenomenon,its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals,in their pursuit of economic interests,have disregarded the virtue of environmental protection.

How can we put an end to the problem of environmental pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issuing related laws and enhancing supervision. But would these measures be comprehensive enougn? In reality, we also need to foster the virtue of environmental protection.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：make

批改：makes，which指代前面扔垃圾这件事，是单数

原文：is

批改：去掉

原文：Eviendtly

批改：Evidently

原文：As shown in the picture, there are two tourists, sitting on a boat, enjoying scenery, and throwing the garbage into the water, which make the river is polluted. Eviendtly, the picture intends to convey to readers that environmental pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：This pnenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, neglecting environmental protection is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation’s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth,but also significantly affecting its international image. What is more, tragically,although the lack of clear rules might contribute to this phenomenon,its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals,in their pursuit of economic interests,have disregarded the virtue of environmental protection.

批改：该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述，语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子，值得表扬。

原文：How can we put an end to the problem of environmental pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issuing related laws and enhancing supervision. But would these measures be comprehensive enougn? In reality, we also need to foster the virtue of environmental protection.

批改：该段能够针对图画现象提出自己的解决措施，句子结构完整。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17/20

内容切题，准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意避免拼写错误；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯；语法方面，注意主谓一致问题以及一句话只能有一个谓语。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。

本文精解的2011年考研英语一范文，在启航教育AI智能批改系统中拿到了高分评价。快速揪出失分点，对着薄弱点学提升更快，是考研英语写作技巧备考的贴心帮手。扫码预约，免费体验考研英语作文AI智能批改。