进入冲刺阶段,每一份考研英语写作技巧写作资料都弥足珍贵。本文整理的2011年考研英语一批改范例,由启航教育写作主讲亲自精批,已标注高分句型与失分雷区。无论你是考研英语一一还是考研英语一二考生,都能从中找到提分灵感。
一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目
考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文
The interesting picture vividly shows that there are two people who are throwing rubbish at the lake on the boat. The picture is an excellent reminder that enhancing public environmental protection awareness is worth paying attention to.
Considering the significance of environmental protection, it is necessary to point out the far-reaching consequences behind it. Firstly, a good natural environment, to some extent, inevitably brings great benefits to our health, both physical and mental. As a famous writer pointed out in his books, a good environment, under any circumstance, tends to be of enormous importance. Moreover, enhancing public environmental protection awareness is beneficial to the development of civilized society. A recent questionnaire of the Chinese Academy of Social Science indicates that about 83.2% of the respondents hold the same view.
The above-mentioned facts naturally lead us to the conclusion that great importance should be attached to environmental protection. Newspapers and news media should promote the publicity of it. Everyone should cultivate a better awareness of it and take practical actions. If these measures can be taken efficiently, a bright future must be on the way.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: at the lake
批改:可删去
批改:头段表达不错,清晰地阐述了图画内容, 表达的主题和图画也是贴合的
批改:语法正确
批改:语法正确
批改:语法正确
批改:这段分了两个点来写,都很好,但是要更深入地分析一下会更好,比如第一点,对身心健康有好处,可以是好的环境带来了什么,对身心健康好,或者人们的身心健康了,对社会会带来怎样的影响,写上之后这两个点的支撑会更强
批改:语法正确
原文:efficiently
批改:efficiently 是有效率地,此处改为 effectively 有效地 会更合适
批改:结尾段写得不错
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15分/20分
题目要求:总体上来说是切题的,表明了个人观点,和图画的内容很贴合
语言表达:存在几处细节表达问题,词汇表达不错,一些句式也很好
结构逻辑:文章的结构完整清晰,内容和论证建议更充分一点,结合第二段的段评来看
修改建议:细节表达问题结合作文批注仔细修改,要细心。之后可以多积累素材,注意论证部分要充分,这样才能有支撑,多练练句子,提高自己的语言表达,总的来说写的不错,加油!
专业批改是考研英语写作提分直接有效的方式之一。启航教育提供由资深讲师亲批的免费批改服务,针对考研英语一大作文逐句逐段给出修改建议。完成本文精读之后,欢迎将你的作文提交给启航教育,享受考研英语写作技巧高分批改。
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