考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈,仅靠背诵远远不够,必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2015年考研英语二高分批改范例,涵盖考研英语二写作技巧高频常考话题,逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。
一、2015年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2015年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2015年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The pie chart clearly depicts the percentage breakdown of the cost of people in a certain city of our country during the Spring Festival. The gifts of new year takes the lead at 40%. Additionally, factors such as having a dinner together and transportation are also considered, accounting for 20% and 20%, respectively.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populace, allowing them to afford the gifts of new year that were previously deemed luxury items. In addition, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction; they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why people spend much money on gifts and eating outside during the Spring Festival. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of Chinese people, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will remain relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:f the cost of peopl
批改:用词不当:cost of people(人们的成本)表意不清,应改为 residents" spending(居民的开支)或 expenditure distribution。
原文:The gifts of new year tak
批改:表达不地道 & 主谓不一致: The gifts of new year 是中式英语,地道的表达是 New Year"s gifts。 主语 gifts 是复数,谓语动词 takes 应改为 take。
原文:itionally, factors such as having a dinner together and transportation are also considered, accounting for 20% and 20%, re
批改:用词与逻辑问题: factors... are considered(因素被考虑)不准确。 having a dinner together 比较口语化,dining gatherings 更正式。 respectively 使用不当,因为只有两个20%,却对应三项开支(聚餐、交通、及其他隐含项),逻辑不匹配。
原文:he pie chart clearly depicts the percentage breakdown of the cost of people in a certain city of our country during the Spring Festival. The gifts of new year takes the lead at 40%. Additionally, factors such as having a dinner together and transportation are also considered, accounting for 20% and 20%, respectively.
批改:本段成功抓住了核心数据。主要问题在于用词的专业性、主谓一致和逻辑副词的精确使用。图表描述需要力求客观和准确。
原文: core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populace, allowing them to afford the gifts of new year that were previously deemed luxury items. In addition, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction; they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why people spend much money on gifts and eating outside during the Spring Festival. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:本段的论证逻辑是清晰且有效的。两个论点(经济能力、精神需求)都切中要害,并且结论句将原因与现象紧密联系了起来
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11分
同学,你这篇作文的第二段论证部分写得非常出色! 你不仅提出了合理的论点,更重要的是,你用一个结论句成功地将抽象的原因(精神享受)和具体的图表数据(礼物、餐饮开支)联系了起来,构建了完整的逻辑链条,是你本篇作文最大的亮点!
修改建议:
优化开篇表达:将第一段的 the gifts of new year 和 factors... considered 等表达修改为更地道、专业的词汇
本文展示的2015年考研英语二范文可以提炼为考研英语二写作技巧的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板,均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班,助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。
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