2010年考研英语一大作文属于典型的图表作文,要求考生准确描述数据变化并深入解读现象。本文精解的这篇柱状图批改范例,完整覆盖考研英语一作文真题常考图表的描述思路,是考研英语图表类作文的标杆范例。
一、考研英语一2010年大作文题目
考研英语一2010年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2010年大作文批改例文
The interesting picture vividly portrays that there is a pot which puts many cultural factors both Chinese and other countries in. The picture is an excellent reminder that cultural exchange is worth paying attention to.
Considering the significance of cultural communication, it is necessary to point out the far-reaching consequences behind it. Firstly, cultural transmission, to some extent. inevitably brings tremendous benefits to the development of the economy and society. As Edward Zlotkowski, director of community service at University of Cambridge, put it, "It is generally recognized that international cultural exchange, under any circumstances, tends to be of great importance. Moreover, the reason why cultural diffusion tends to be of great importance is that it could enrich our cultural environment. A recent internet questionnaire of the Chinese Academy of Social Science indicates that approximately 83,2% of the respondents hold the same view.
The above-mentioned facts can naturally lead us to the conclusion that great importance should be attached to cultural exchange and mutual learning. Everyone should cultivate a better awareness of it and take practical actions.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:puts
批改:锅(pot)本身不会主动“放”东西。"which puts...in" 这个主动语态的使用不符合逻辑。应该使用“包含”或“装有”这类概念的动词,可改为 contains
原文:both Chinese and other countries
批改:改为 from China and beyond 更简洁
原文:in
批改:删去
批改:开头段表达不错,清晰地阐述了图画内容, 表达的主题和图画也是贴合的,注意语法问题
批改:语法正确
原文:transmission
批改:和首段主题词保持一致,改为 exchange
批改:改为 逗号
批改:记得加下引号
原文:,
批改:此处为 .
原文:diffusion
批改:和首段主题词保持一致,改为 exchange
批改:内容表达建议更充分一点,不能只写其重要,对经济社会的发展重要,丰富了文化环境,这两个点很好,但是,比如最后一句,多少人赞同这一点,这一点到底能带来什么好处,为什么会赞成,分析其背后的原因论证会更成分
批改:结尾段表达不错
原文:of
批改:改为 about 更合适
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:14分/20分
题目要求:总体上来说是切题的,表明了个人观点,和图画的内容很贴合
语言表达:存在几处语法问题,词汇表达不错,一些句式也很好
结构逻辑:文章的结构完整清晰,内容论证要更充分一点,结合第二段的段评来看
修改建议:语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改,要细心 2. 标点使用要规范 3.内容论证要更充分一点。之后可以多积累素材,自己多练练句子,进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备,提高自己的内容和语言表达,加油!
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