考研英语二2016年大作文怎么写？附例文批改

想在短时间内显著提升考研英语写作分数？研读高分范文并接受专业批改是高效的路径。本文整理的2016年考研英语二批改范例，从图表描述、原因分析到建议评论，每一段都渗透着考研英语写作锦囊热点话题的得分要点。

一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目

考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.

二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文

The chart mirrors the targets of travels of students at a university. Sightsing and releasing pressure account for 37% and 33% respectively. The other reasons, such as making friends and cultivating independence ability are stand for less.Considering the significance of travels, it is necessary to point out the far-reaching consequences behind it. Firstly, make travels, to some extent.

inevitably brings enormous benefits to acquiring adequate knowledge. As Edward, director of community service at University of Cambridge. Put it, "It is generally recognized that full of knowledge and experience, under any circumstance, tends to be of great importance. Moreover, a good trip could exert a positive influence on our health, both physically and mentally. A recent Internet questionnaire of the Chinese Academy of Social Science indicates that about 83.2% of the respondents hold the same view.The above mentioned facts can naturally lead us to the conclusion that great importance should be attached.

To think about the meanings of travels. Schools and parents should encourage students and their children to feel the world, with their curiosity and enthusiasm.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：Sightsing

批改：Sightseeing

原文：independence

批改：要用形容词independent

原文：are stand for

批改：stand for表示代表，占比应改为account for

原文：making friends and cultivating independence ability

批改：饼图里还有其他项，建议改为making friends, cultivating independence and others

原文：The chart mirrors the targets of travels of students at a university. Sightsing and releasing pressure account for 37% and 33% respectively. The other reasons, such as making friends and cultivating independence ability are stand for less.Considering the significance of travels, it is necessary to point out the far-reaching consequences behind it.

批改：由于饼图中的元素不是很多，占比较小的几项建议也在开头体现出具体数据，另外要注意下语法问题

原文：make travels

批改：表达有误，用traveling即可

批改：逗号

原文：. Put

批改：这句话还没有结束，应改为逗号+小写

原文：full

批改：成分缺失，前面应加上being

批改：后面要加双引号

原文：attached

批改：成分缺失，后面要补充 to it

原文：To think about

批改：表示考虑到，用Considering更符合英文表达

原文：. Schools

批改：逗号+小写

原文： and their children

批改：和前面的students代指重复，建议删除

原文：,

批改：应删除

原文：Firstly, make travels, to some extent. inevitably brings enormous benefits to acquiring adequate knowledge. As Edward, director of community service at University of Cambridge. Put it, "It is generally recognized that full of knowledge and experience, under any circumstance, tends to be of great importance. Moreover, a good trip could exert a positive influence on our health, both physically and mentally. A recent Internet questionnaire of the Chinese Academy of Social Science indicates that about 83.2% of the respondents hold the same view.The above mentioned facts can naturally lead us to the conclusion that great importance should be attached.

批改：本段运用了较多自己的语言，并且引用了名言和调查数据，但题目要求是解释图表中的现象，也就是为什么学生旅游的主要目的是缓解压力和欣赏风景等，重点不在于论述旅游的重要性，可以再思考下

原文：To think about the meanings of travels. Schools and parents should encourage students and their children to feel the world, with their curiosity and enthusiasm.

批改：同上一段，重点不在于呼吁学生旅游。一般来说，图表题的结尾可以预测未来趋势，再思考下~

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：6/15

题目要求：对图表的描述尚可，但个人观点和论述内容不太符合题意，应围绕图表中的现象来展开论述和分析，可以再考虑下；

语言表达：全文用了较多自己的语言，结合了名人名言和调查数据，但存在一些语法错误，导致内容表达上不够流畅清晰；

行文逻辑：第一段描述题干内容，第二段给细论述，第三段表达个人观点，架构完整；

修改建议：改正原文错误；改正原文立意和论述内容；多多积累经典句式；加强语法练习；

同学还有进步的空间，要加油啊~

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