考研英语一2016年大作文失分点批改

据启航教育英语教研组统计，考研英语作文批改话题连续多年成为考研英语一大作文的高频考点。本文带来的2016年考研英语一批改例文中，考生通过对社会热点的精准分析与地道表达，获得高分，其写作思路可供2027考研英语一考生直接借鉴。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father,saying to his children study hard while he was smoking and watching the TV leisurely.On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, the father worked hard while his son studied hard in the same room. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future,while negative examples are the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought - provoking in several ways ,but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand , while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the practice of positive examples is one that should never lose its luster, as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people. On the other hand, negative examples are like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress leaving them with an unwilling outwook on study and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, positive examples are the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benifit .Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure ou growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：children

批改：后加逗号

原文：study hard

批改：说的话要加双引号“you should study hard”

原文：worked

批改：现在时works

原文：studied

批改：studies

原文：In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father,saying to his children study hard while he was smoking and watching the TV leisurely.On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, the father worked hard while his son studied hard in the same room. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future,while negative examples are the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

批改：加逗号断句

原文：outwook

批改：outlook

原文：This phenomenon is thought - provoking in several ways ,but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand , while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the practice of positive examples is one that should never lose its luster, as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people. On the other hand, negative examples are like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress leaving them with an unwilling outwook on study and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：能够通过正反两方面进行论述来突出论点，能够运用逻辑关系词，使得句子之间衔接较为连贯。

原文：In brief, positive examples are the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benifit .Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure ou growth stays on course.

批改：能够提出自己的建议，起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15/20

内容切题，全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意避免拼写错误；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯，注意正确使用标点断句；语法方面，注意动词时态的正确选取。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节问题会更好。继续加油。

复习考研英语大作文，务必要重视范文精读+专业批改的双向结合。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，专为冲刺阶段考生打造，从话题预测到写作模板一应俱全，是考研英语作文批改写作提分的可靠方案。