2015年考研英语二大作文失分点批改

本文是一份经过启航教育整理的2015年考研英语二大作文批改资料，对照考研英语作文话题写作框架与评分标准进行精细讲解。无论是词汇句式、段落衔接还是逻辑展开，本文都能为考研英语考生提供可直接套用的范例。

一、2015年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2015年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2015年考研英语二大作文批改例文

Spring Festival Spending of City Residents

This pie chart shows how people in a Chinese city spend money during the Spring Festival.

The largest part of their spending is on New Year gifts, which takes 40% of the total. Then, gathering meals, transportation, and other things each account for 20%.

Several factors contribute to this phenomenon.First, giving New Year gifts is a Spring Festival tradition—it’s a way to show care to family and friends. Second, people like to have big meals together with their loved ones during the holiday, that"s why Chinese people spend money on gatherings. Also, many people need to travel back home to meet their families, so spend money to travel are necessary.

This spending shows that Spring Festival is all about family and tradition. People spend these money all want to make the holiday more meaningful.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：h takes 40%

批改：which takes 40% -> which take 40% (这里“which”指代的是复数名词“gifts”，所以动词要用“take”)

原文：ring Festival Spending of City Residents This pie chart shows how people in a Chinese city spend money during the Spring Festival. The largest part of their spending is on New Year gifts, which takes 40% of the total. Then, gathering meals, transportation, and other things each account for 20%.

批改：开篇直入主题，描述简洁有力，数据呈现一目了然。只有一个非常细微的主谓一致问题，稍作修改就非常完美了。

原文：so spend money to travel are necessary.

批改：so spend money to travel are necessary -> so spending money on transportation is necessary (原句结构错误。“spend money to travel”是动词短语，不能作主语，要改为动名词“spending”作主语，谓语动词用单数“is”)

原文：veral factors contribute to this phenomenon.First, giving New Year gifts is a Spring Festival tradition—it’s a way to show care to family and friends. Second, people like to have big meals together with their loved ones during the holiday, that"s why Chinese people spend money on gatherings. Also, many people need to travel back home to meet their families, so spend money to travel are necessa

批改：原因分析段写得非常出色！三个原因分别精准地对应了图表中的三大花费项目（礼物、聚餐、交通），逻辑清晰，解释也非常合理，完全抓住了春节消费的文化内涵。除了个别句式可以更书面化一点外，内容上无可挑剔

原文：money

批改：these money -> this money (“money”是不可数名词，要用“this”来修饰)

原文：nt to make the holiday more meanin

批改：People spend this money all want to... -> People who spend this money all want to... 或 Spending this money, people all want to... (原句有两个动词“spend”和“want”却没有连接词，这是典型的“连句”错误。需要加上关系代词“who”或将前半部分改为状语。)

原文：spending shows that Spring Festival is all about family and tradition. People spend these money all want to make the holiday more meaningful.

批改：结尾段总结得非常到位，升华了主题

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：10分

综合评分：

根据评分标准，这篇作文较好地完成了试题规定的任务。

内容要点： 包含了所有内容要点，描述、分析、总结都非常到位。

语法与词汇： 使用了的语法结构和词汇能满足任务需求，语言自然流畅。有个别语法错误，但不影响理解。

连贯与衔接： 有效地采用了多种衔接方法（First, Second, Also），文字连贯，层次清晰。

总评与修改建议：

所有分析都紧紧扣住了图表内容和春节的文化背景，这说明你已经掌握了这类题目的核心写法。

现在，我们要向更高的分数（第一档）发起冲击，需要攻克的就是一些“小而精”的语法难点：

主谓一致要留神：时刻留意句子的主语是单数还是复数，比如“gifts take...”和“spending is...”。

句子结构要完整：写复杂句时，检查是否只有一个主谓结构，或者用了正确的连接词（如which, who, that）。

细节决定成败：注意不可数名词（如money）的用法和标点空格等细节。

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