考研英语一2011年大作文失分点批改

本文精选了一篇得分13分以上的2011年考研英语一大作文高分范例，并附启航老师对该范文的逐句批改。文中清晰展示了考研英语写作技巧评分细则中关于语法多样性、词汇丰富度与逻辑连贯性的得分技巧，是考研英语学习的高价值内容。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the picture, there are two people sitting at a boat and throwing rubbish into the lake, which makes the lake polluted. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that the environment protection is an issue that requires great attention both in personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in serveral ways, but two of them are particularly significant. ad foremost .On the one hand, neglecting environment protection is like a neavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth ,but also significantly aftecting its international image. On the other hand, throwing rubbish everywhere can erode trust and respect, and cause the loss of opportunities and resources. It can also damage personal image and reputation, leading to exclusion and failure in work and social situations.

How can we put an end to the problem of th environment?" It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issuing related regulations and strengthen education. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality , we also need to strengthen self-discipline. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：As shown in the picture, there are two people sitting at a boat and throwing rubbish into the lake, which makes the lake polluted. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that the environment protection is an issue that requires great attention both in personal lives and in society.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：ad foremost .

批改：删去

原文：neavy

批改：heavy

原文：aftecting

批改：affecting

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in serveral ways, but two of them are particularly significant. ad foremost .On the one hand, neglecting environment protection is like a neavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth ,but also significantly aftecting its international image. On the other hand, throwing rubbish everywhere can erode trust and respect, and cause the loss of opportunities and resources. It can also damage personal image and reputation, leading to exclusion and failure in work and social situations.

批改：论述的内容较为全面，运用逻辑关系词使得句与句之间衔接较为紧密。注意避免小的语言错误。

原文：th environment

批改：environment pollution

原文：strengthen

批改：strengthening

原文：How can we put an end to the problem of th environment?" It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issuing related regulations and strengthen education. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality , we also need to strengthen self-discipline. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

批改：该段能够针对图画现象提出自己的解决措施。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15/20

内容切题，准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意避免拼写错误；句式方面，要注意句子成分和内容的完整；语法方面，介词including后加动词ing形式。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。

本文精解的2011年考研英语一范文，在启航教育AI智能批改系统中拿到了高分评价。快速揪出失分点，对着薄弱点学提升更快，是考研英语写作技巧备考的贴心帮手。扫码预约，免费体验考研英语作文AI智能批改。