2019年考研英语二大作文的评分标准严格,对图表描述、主题提炼与观点阐述三大能力均有考查。本文精选的这篇高分批改范例,全程贯彻考研英语二大作文写作锦囊的核心要点,可作为考研英语写作的标杆范文。
一、2019年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2019年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2019年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts college graduates’ employment directions in 2013 and 2018. In 2013, the percentage of work was 68.1%, but by 2018, this rate had decreased to around 60.7%. In contrast, the proportion of further study experienced a significant increase of 8% during the same period. Simultaneously, the percentage of starting a company remained stable and steady.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound education system, enabling university students to have ample opportunities for further education. In addition, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people’s attitudes toward life have undergone significant changes: people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of further study will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of work will likely continue to decrease.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: percentage of work
批改:整体语法正确,但“the percentage of work”和“the proportion of further study”在表达上可以更精确,建议改为“the percentage of graduates choosing to work”和“the proportion opting for further study”,这样主语更清晰。
原文:he bar chart clearly depicts college graduates’ employment directions in 2013 and 2018. In 2013, the percentage of work was 68.1%, but by 2018, this rate had decreased to around 60.7%. In contrast, the proportion of further study experienced a significant increase of 8% during the same period. Simultaneously, the percentage of starting a company remained stable and steady.
批改:非常扎实的开头段!信息完整,数据准确,清晰地呈现了图表的核心对比
原文: core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound education system, enabling university students to have ample opportunities for further education. In addition, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people’s attitudes toward life have undergone significant changes: people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:“政府建设教育体系”是一个过于宽泛的背景,它解释了“有机会深造”,但无法精准解释“为什么在2013-2018这五年间,选择深造的人数显著增加”。 “人们不再满足于物质享受”这个理由与“深造”之间的逻辑链条不够直接和有力。选择深造往往有非常具体和现实的考量。 段评:分析段有正确的方向(提到了教育体系和观念变化),但缺乏深度和针对性。
原文:hat about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of further study will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of work will likely continue to decrease.
批改:预测方向合理,与上文分析形成呼应
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11分
优点:结构完整,覆盖了所有内容要点,开头段描述出色。
主要失分点:第二段原因分析空洞,没有进行有效、具体、切题的阐述。
总评与修改建议:
对于“深造比例上升”这一现象,你需要思考的是学生个体在做选择时的具体动机。
请尝试使用以下这些更直接、更真实的理由:
就业市场竞争加剧:随着大学毕业生数量增多,本科学历在求职市场上的竞争力相对下降,攻读研究生可以提升就业竞争力。(An increasingly competitive job market makes a postgraduate degree a valuable asset for standing out.)
更高的职业天花板:某些专业或心仪的岗位对学历有明确要求,深造是实现职业目标的必经之路。(Certain careers or high-level positions require an advanced degree as a basic qualification.)
深化专业兴趣:部分学生希望在自己感兴趣的学术领域进行更深入的研究。
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