想在考研英语二大作文中写出有深度的论证段落?本文精解的2014年考研英语二真题范文,从论据选择、过渡句使用到结尾点题都极具参考价值。启航教育考研英语教研组对该篇范文的批注,有助于考生建立完善的写作逻辑。
一、2014年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2014年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.
二、2014年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts the population of urban and countryside in China during 20 years. In 1990, the number of urban’s population is 300 million, but by 2010, this figure had substantially risen to 666 million. In contrast, the number of countryside"s population experienced a significant decline of 160 million during the same period.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populace, allowing them to afford houses in urban that were previously deemed luxury items. In addition, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people"s ways of life have undergo significant changes, people are no longer content with mere basic material satisfaction, they also pursue the enjoyment of more aspects. This explains why an increasing number of people choose live in the urban rather than countryside. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the number of people in urban will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the number of people live in countryside will likely continue to decrease.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:population of urban and countryside in China during 20 years. In 1990, the number of urban’s population is 300 million, but by 2010, this figure had substantially risen to 666 million. In contrast, the number of countryside"s population experienced a significant decline of 160 million during the same per
批改:本段在语法和表达上存在以下几处问题:1. "the population of urban and countryside" 表述不精确,应改为 "the population in urban and rural areas" 或 "the urban and rural population"。2. "the number of urban’s population is 300 million" 中存在两个错误:一是名词所有格 "urban’s" 使用不当,直接使用 "the urban population" 即可;二是时态错误,描述1990年的数据应用过去时 "was"。3. "the number of countryside"s population" 同理,应改为 "the rural population"。
原文:d.
批改:准确地概括了图表的核心信息,清晰地呈现了城乡人口一升一降的对比趋势。逻辑清晰,结构完整。主要问题在于名词所有格的误用、时态错误,这些细节影响了段落的完美。
原文:es in urban that were previously deemed luxury items. In addition, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people"s ways of life have undergo significant changes, people are no longer content with mere basic material satisfaction, they also pursue the enjoyment of more aspects. This explains why an increasing number of people choose live in the urban rather than countryside. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsprisi
批改:本段语言运用上存在以下问题:1. "allowing them to afford houses in urban that..." 中,"urban" 是形容词,后面应加名词 "areas" 构成 "urban areas"。2. "people"s ways of life have undergo significant changes" 中,"undergo" 应改为过去分词 "undergone" 构成现在完成时。3. "people are no longer..., they also..." 这是一个逗号粘连错误,两个完整的句子不能用逗号连接。4. "choose live in the urban" 中,"choose" 后应接不定式 "to live"。5. "unsprising" 拼写错误,应为 "unsurprising"。
批改:本段从两个层面分析原因,结构清晰。第一个论点(政府推动经济发展)是合理且有效的。第二个论点(生活方式改变)方向正确,但表述略显空泛,与“城市化”的直接关联可以更强(如:城市提供更多就业、教育、医疗资源)。然而,本段出现的语法和拼写错误,尤其是逗号粘连和动词形式错误,影响了语言的流畅度和专业性。
原文: in urban will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the number of people live in countryside w
批改:“the number of people in urban” 需补充 “areas”,改为 “the number of people in urban areas”;“the number of people live in countryside” 语法错误,需用定语从句或分词短语, "the number of people who live in the countryside" 或更简洁地使用介词短语 "the number of people in the countryside"。
原文:e.
批改:本段对未来趋势的预测简洁合理,与图表揭示的方向一致。 注意细节错误
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:10/15分
总评
本文结构完整,准确地描述了图表趋势,并对未来做出了合理预测。论证内容部分有效,第一个理由尤其切题。然而,文章在语言质量上失分较多,全篇出现了多处基础语法错误,包括时态、动词形式、句子结构(逗号粘连)和定语修饰等。这些错误虽然不都影响核心理解,但它们的频繁出现拉低了文章的整体档次,反映了语言基本功不够扎实的问题。建议在保证内容切题的同时,加强语法巩固和写作后的检查。
参考范文
The bar chart vividly illustrates the dramatic shift in China"s population distribution between 1990 and 2010. The urban population saw a remarkable surge from 300 million to 666 million, while the rural population witnessed a sharp decline from 834 million to 674 million.
This profound transformation is primarily driven by China"s rapid economic development and urbanization process. Massive job opportunities created in urban areas attracted a vast influx of rural laborers seeking higher wages and better lives. Furthermore, superior public resources in cities, such as education, healthcare, and infrastructure, have consistently drawn people from the countryside.
Looking ahead, this trend of urbanization is likely to continue as China further modernizes its economy, though the pace may gradually slow down. The urban population is expected to keep growing, while the rural population may see a further steady decrease.
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