启航教育在考研英语写作教学中反复强调:词汇与句式的高级化是考研英语作文高分的关键。本文整理的2014年考研英语二批改范例,几乎每一段都包含高分替换词与衔接词,是考研英语二真题写作锦囊中的代表性范文。
一、2014年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2014年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.
二、2014年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts the change of town and village population over 20 years. In 1990, the number of town population was 820 million, but by 2010, this figure decreased to around 680 million. In contrast, the number of village population slowly increased by 370 million during the same period from 1990 to 2010.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populace, allowing them to afford houses that were previously deemed luxury items.
What about future trends? I am confident that the number of town population is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the number of village population will likely continue to decrease.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:e change of
批改:the change of -> the changes in (更地道的搭配)
原文:wn and village po
批改:town and village population -> the urban and rural population (使用标准术语 urban 和 rural 更专业)
原文:e bar chart clearly depicts the change of town and village population over 20 years. In 1990, the number of town population was 820 million, but by 2010, this figure decreased to around 680 million. In contrast, the number of village population slowly increased by 370 million during the same period from 1990 to 2010.
批改:核心事实错误:你对图表数据的描述完全相反了。城镇(urban)人口是从3亿增至6.66亿(大幅上升),而乡村(rural)人口是从8.34亿降至6.74亿(下降)。
原文:he core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populace, allowing them to afford houses that were previously deemed luxury items.
批改:分析需要紧扣“就业机会”、“公共服务”、“收入差距”等更直接的因素。
原文:hat about future trends? I am confident that the number of town population is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the number of village population will likely continue to decrease.
批改:预测本身是合理的,但它是基于错误的数据趋势(你认为城镇人口在下降)做出的,因此这个预测的立场也变得矛盾和不合理。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:7分
得分理由:结构完整,但未能有效完成试题规定的核心任务。第一档要求“包含所有内容要点”,而本文因数据解读错误,导致核心要点遗漏和错误阐述
同学,你好!这篇作文让我们关注到一个比语言表达更根本的问题——准确审题与读图。
1. 语言与结构方面:
你能够熟练运用三段的写作框架,这是很好的基础。请务必巩固urban和rural这组核心术语。
内容与逻辑方面:
本次最核心的问题出在第一步——读图。数据是图表作文的基石,基石歪了,后面建造的整个论述大厦都会倾斜。你将城镇人口和乡村人口的数据和趋势完全弄反了,这直接导致了后续分析和预测的逻辑混乱。
总的修改建议:
审题第一,数据为王:今后写作前,请花至少1-2分钟仔细看清图表的标题、坐标轴和图例,确保你理解每一个数据代表的含义。这是决定成败的第一步。
建立正确的分析框架:对于“城镇化”这类话题,分析原因时应从推力和拉力两个角度思考。城市的拉力:更多工作机会、更高工资、更好教育医疗资源。乡村的推力:农业收入有限、就业机会少。将你的论点与这些宏观背景联系起来。
让语言为内容服务:在确保内容正确、逻辑清晰的基础上,再考虑用更地道的词汇和句型来为文章增色。
对每一位2027考研人而言,考研英语二真题都是冲刺阶段必须攻克的难关。启航教育陪伴一届又一届学子走向考研英语写作高分,本文精解的2014年考研英语二范文正是经典参考之一。欢迎关注启航教育,了解更多考研英语备考干货。
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