想在短时间内显著提升考研英语写作分数?研读高分范文并接受专业批改是高效的路径。本文整理的2015年考研英语二批改范例,从图表描述、原因分析到建议评论,每一段都渗透着考研英语写作锦囊热点话题的得分要点。
一、2015年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2015年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2015年考研英语二大作文批改例文
From the fan chart we can learn the data about the percentage of spending on the Spring Festival vacation by the residents of a certain city in China. Among all the expenses, the spending on New Year"s gifts accounts for the highest proportion, with 40%.The proportion of spending on transportation and parties accounts for 20% respectively. From the chart, we can draw a conclusion that people"s spending mainly focuses on three aspects: gifts, transportation and parties during the Spring Festival.
First of all, I think people spend a lot of money on buying gifts for the following two reasons: sending red packets and visiting relatives. Sending red packets and visiting relatives on Chinese New Year is a traditional custom that has survived for a long time in China. People often want to express their blessings to their friends and relatives on Chinese New Year and to enhance the relationships with them, so gift-giving is a common behavior when they meet. At the same time, Chinese New Year is a festival that Chinese people attach great importance to. Therefore, no matter how far away people are they will choose to go home to reunite with their friends and relatives, so they need to spend some money on transportation and partying. However, it is important to note that in today"s society, the nature of gift-giving and parties has taken a turn for the worse. Some people want to show their self-esteem and satisfy their vanity by giving gifts and inviting guests to parties, and some even compare themselves with each other, wanting to spend money to prove their ability. This situation needs people"s attention and vigilance.
In my opinion, the original intention of giving gifts and taking parties during the Chinese New Year is to pass on their blessings and enhance their feelings, rather than showing off and comparing with each other. Therefore, people still need to spend money rationally in the light of their real situation.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:fan chart w
批改:“fan chart”是一个小失误,应为“pie chart”
原文:he fan chart we can learn the data about the percentage of spending on the Spring Festival vacation by the residents of a certain city in China. Among all the expenses, the spending on New Year"s gifts accounts for the highest proportion, with 40%.The proportion of spending on transportation and parties accounts for 20% respectively. From the chart, we can draw a conclusion that people"s spending mainly focuses on three aspects: gifts, transportation and parties during the Spring Festival.
批改:非常出色的开头段!描述全面、数据准确、语言规范
原文:of all, I think people spend a lot of money on buying gifts for the following two reasons: sending red packets and visiting relatives. Sending red packets and visiting relatives on Chinese New Year is a traditional custom that has survived for a long time in China. People often want to express their blessings to their friends and relatives on Chinese New Year and to enhance the relationships with them, so gift-giving is a common behavior when they meet. At the same time, Chinese New Year is a festival that Chinese people attach great importance to. Therefore, no matter how far away people are they will choose to go home to reunite with their friends and relatives, so they need to spend some money on transportation and partying. However, it is important to note that in today"s society, the nature of gift-giving and parties has taken a turn for the worse. Some people want to show their self-esteem and satisfy their vanity by giving gifts and inviting guests to parties, and some even compare themselves with each other, wanting to spend money to prove their ability. This situation needs people"s attention and vigilance.
批改:本段的论证非常有深度!你不仅解释了现象(送礼、交通、聚会),还深入挖掘了背后的文化动因(传统习俗、情感联系、家庭团聚)。更精彩的是,你加入了批判性思考,指出了当前存在的“攀比”和“虚荣”问题,使立意瞬间拔高。
原文: taking par
批改:“taking parties”搭配不当,应为“hosting/attending parties”或“social gatherings”
原文:w Year is to pass on their blessings and enhance their feelings, rather than showing off and comparing with each other. Therefore, people still need to spend money rationally in the light of their real situation.
批改:结尾简洁有力,观点明确
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:13分
内容要点:涵盖所有要点,且论述深刻、充实。
语法结构与词汇:使用了丰富的语法结构(如状语从句、宾语从句等)和词汇(attach great importance to, take a turn for the worse, vigilance等),展现了良好的语言储备。
逻辑与衔接:层次非常清晰,从描述到分析再到批判和建议,衔接自然流畅。
总评与修改建议:
这篇作文最大的亮点,在于逻辑深度和批判性思维。你没有满足于简单地解释图表,而是进一步思考了现代社会中传统习俗可能面临的扭曲,并提出了理性的呼吁。
当然,我们还有精益求精的空间:
将“fan chart”改为“pie chart”;将“taking parties”改为“hosting parties”。
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