2011年考研英语二大作文真题与例文批改

考研英语二作文真题每年的命题都会折射出当年的社会热点。本文呈现的2011年考研英语二批改范例，从生活实际出发，紧扣命题意图。启航教育老师在批注中详细指出了图（表）描述、原因分析与建议评论的合理答题节奏。

一、2011年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)

二、2011年考研英语二大作文批改例文

Section IV Writing Part B 48.

The bar chart dlearly depicts the changs in market shares of certain brands in the domestic cars market from 2008 to 2009, in 2008, the percentage of domestic cars was approximately 25%, but by 2009, this rate had substantially risen to around 33%. In contrast, the proportion of Japaness cars exprienced a significant decline of about 10% during the same period. Simultaneousil, the percentage of American car remained stable and steady.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, Chinese society is undergoing an extenstve and profound transformation. In my view, the significant progress was made by China"s automotive industry in responding to these changes. In addition, with the social development of our country, the younger generation particularly those born in the 1980s and 1990s, are accustomed to using domestic cars and have become the primary consumer group.

What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of domestic brands will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of Japaness and American brands will likely continue to decrease.

请在各题目的答题区域内作答,超出答题区域的答案无效

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：dlearly

批改：改为 clearly

原文：the changs in market shares of certain brands

批改：改为 the change of the market shares of different automobile brands

原文：changs

批改：正确写法为 change

原文：,

批改：改为句号

原文：in

批改：首字母大写 In

原文：domestic cars

批改：还可以说 domestic automobiles

原文：around

批改：为了更准确地描述图中数据及其变化，可以运用一些小词如 approximately/nearly/around 等帮助表述

原文：Japaness

批改：改为 Japanese

原文：exprienced

批改：改为 experienced

原文：a significant decline of

批改：多储备表变化的名词、动词、形容词、副词或词组在写作过程中会很有帮助，名词包括像 growth/reduction，动词像 increase/drop，副词和动词搭配如 slightly decrease，运用起来让人眼前一亮

原文：Simultaneousil

批改：正确写法为 Simultaneously

原文：American car

批改：可以说 American automobile brand

原文：stable and steady

批改：stable和steady意思相近，删去其中一个

原文：The bar chart dlearly depicts the changs in market shares of certain brands in the domestic cars market from 2008 to 2009

批改：首段概括图表内容可以参考如下 “The bar chart clearly depicts the change of the market shares among Chinese, Japanese and American automobile brands from 2008 to 2009.”

原文：The bar chart dlearly depicts the changs in market shares of certain brands in the domestic cars market from 2008 to 2009, in 2008, the percentage of domestic cars was approximately 25%, but by 2009, this rate had substantially risen to around 33%. In contrast, the proportion of Japaness cars exprienced a significant decline of about 10% during the same period. Simultaneousil, the percentage of American car remained stable and steady.

批改：首段概括了图表内容，描述了图中各项数据和它们之间的变化关系，需要注意区分不同图表类型（柱状图/折线图/饼状图等）及应当如何描述；除此之外，灵活用词，转换词性，像decline就既可以作名词，又可以作动词，掌握一个词的不同用法有利于变换表达方式，这样文章语言也就不会那么受限了

原文：automotive industry

批改：还可以说 manufacturing / car manufacturing / automobile industry

原文：social

批改：改为 rapid

原文：The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, Chinese society is undergoing an extenstve and profound transformation. In my view, the significant progress was made by China"s automotive industry in responding to these changes. In addition, with the social development of our country, the younger generation particularly those born in the 1980s and 1990s, are accustomed to using domestic cars and have become the primary consumer group.

批改：分析产生这种趋势或现象的原因，给出的第一个原因是汽车产业的蓬勃发展，第二个原因是经济发展，人们的购买力提升，年轻人成为国产汽车的主要消费群体。除了本段论述的国家和社会层面，建议可以拓展更多主体，还可以从“国产品牌自身优势”（企业）和“人均可支配收入增加”（个人）的角度入手

原文：Japaness

批改：改为 Japanese

原文：likely

批改：删去

原文：What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of domestic brands will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of Japaness and American brands will likely continue to decrease.

批改：结尾预测未来国产汽车品牌的市场份额将继续扩大，建议可以对作为市场主体的国产汽车制造商或汽车企业提出展望或“怎么做”的一些建议，如引进更多技术提升产品质量

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：8/15

1）内容上：概括了图表内容，数据及其变化描述可以更准确；

2）语言上：出现部分表达方面的错误，用词和句型可以更灵活；

3）结构上：有自己的行文角度，论述可以更有条理；

4）学习建议：

有待提升的主要有三方面，一是语言上多积累表变化的动词、表程度的副词和描述最大最小值的一些短语，描述图表会更准确和形象；二是内容上可以从国家-社会-市场/企业-个人等主体展开，按“是什么（给观点）——为什么（析原因）——怎么做（结尾提措施/做法）”的逻辑展开，这样主干各要点更清晰明了；三针对现象-原因型文章，主要分析是什么原因导致该种趋势或现象的发生，写作过程中按各个主体的角度串联论述逻辑会让文章更有条理，如：由于经济发展，综合国力提升（国家）——一方面人们购买力提升（社会），另一方面国产品牌有着自身优势广受欢迎（市场/企业），从而使人们对国产品牌更有信心，尤其是年轻群体（个人偏好）——因此国产汽车品牌份额呈持续上升（总结）——未来将继续大力发展汽车制造业（展望+提措施），还可以结合时事热点和具体的例子进行阐述

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