考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大,一直是2011年考研英语二备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语二真题话题,给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文,文中不仅有逐句批注,还附有可复制的考研英语二高分写作模板。
一、2011年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)
二、2011年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts the market proporation of certain brand in the domestic car market from 2008 to 2009. In 2008, the percentage of Chinese cars was approximately 26%, but by 2009, this rate had substantially risen to around 33%. In contrast, the proportion of Japanse cars experienced a significant decline of 9% during the same period. Simultaneously, the percentage of Amrican cars remained stable and steady.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populace, allowing them to afford automobiles that were previously deemed luxury items. In addition, against the backdrop of our country"s rapid and dynamic development, the younger generation, particularly those born in the 1990s and 2000s, are accustomed to using domestic cars and have become the primary consumer group. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of Chinese cars will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of Japanese and Amrican cars will likely continue to decrease.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:ar chart clearly depicts the market proporation of certain brand in the domestic car market from 2008 to 2009.
批改:开篇表明图表类型(柱状图),但“market proporation”拼写错误,应为“market proportion”
原文:n 2008, the percentage of Chinese cars was approximately 26%, but by 2009, this rate had substantially risen to around 33%.
批改:准确给出了2008年和2009年中国汽车在国内市场所占的百分比,且用“substantially risen”形象地描述了增长情况。
原文:contrast, the proportion of Japanse cars experienced a significant decline of 9% during the same period.
批改:通过“In contrast”与上句形成对比,清晰阐述了同一时期日本汽车市场份额的变化,即大幅下降了9%。
原文:Simultaneously, the percentage of Amrican cars remained stable and steady.
批改:说明了同一时期美国汽车市场份额的状态,即保持稳定。“Amrican”拼写错误,应为“American”
原文:The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.
批改:起到承上启下的作用,自然地引出下文对出现这一现象原因的分析,使文章结构连贯。
原文:art with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populace, allowing them to afford automobiles that were previously deemed luxury items.
批改:运用比喻的修辞手法,将政府比作指挥变化的指挥家,形象地说明了政府在推动经济增长和提高民众购买力方面所做出的巨大努力,以及这一努力使民众能够购买以前被视为奢侈品的汽车。
原文: In addition, against the backdrop of our country"s rapid and dynamic development, the younger generation, particularly those born in the 1990s and 2000s, are accustomed to using domestic cars and have become the primary consumer group.
批改:从国家发展背景的角度,分析了年轻一代成为国产汽车主要消费群体的原因,逻辑较为清晰。“are accustomed to”主谓不一致,应改为“is accustomed to”,因为主语“the younger generation”是单数概念。
原文:Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:总结前文分析的原因,得出图表所呈现现象并不令人意外的结论,使段落逻辑完整。
原文:What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of Chinese cars will steadily increase in the following decades.
批改:提出问题并表明自己对未来趋势的看法,即中国汽车的市场份额在未来几十年将稳步增加。
原文:In contrast, the proportion of Japanese and Amrican cars will likely continue to decrease.
批改:与上句形成对比,说明日本和美国汽车市场份额未来可能会继续减少,观点明确。“Amrican”拼写错误,应为“American”
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:9/15
题目要求:作文围绕给定柱状图,对2008 - 2009年国内汽车市场中中国、日本、美国汽车的市场份额变化情况进行了描述,并分析了出现这一现象的原因,最后对未来趋势做出了预测,基本满足了题目中“解读图表并给出评论”的要求。
语言表达:在分析原因时,使用了比喻的修辞手法,如“as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes”,将政府比作指挥变化的指挥家,形象地说明了政府在推动汽车市场变化中的重要作用,使文章更具趣味性和可读性。
内容层面:对国内汽车市场份额上升、日本汽车市场份额下降的原因进行了分析,从政府推动经济增长、提高民众购买力以及年轻一代消费观念转变等方面进行阐述,有一定的逻辑性和说服力。
修改建议:仔细检查并修正文中存在的拼写和语法错误,确保句子表达的准确性。
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