2013年考研英语二大作文失分点批改

本文精选了一篇得分13分以上的2013年考研英语二大作文高分范例，并附启航老师对该范文的逐句批改。文中清晰展示了考研英语写作锦囊评分细则中关于语法多样性、词汇丰富度与逻辑连贯性的得分技巧，是考研英语学习的高价值内容。

一、2013年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2013年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart illustrates the distribution of the part time students in various grades of university. To be specific, Senior Four took a lion’s share,accounting for 88.24%，followed by junior year,occupying 71.93%.Meanwhile, sophomore and freshmanmade up71.13% and 67.77% respectively.

Several factors contribute to this phenomenon.First,senior four have fewer classes.Students can have more time to do part-time job .Furthermore,as students grow older, they are increasingly able to adapt to society。Last but not least，as students grow older，the pressure on students to find job and adapt to society is increasing, and they have to start part-time jobs to prepare for the future.

Based on the above situation, I propose the following suggestions.Schools should help students better adapt to society and prevent encountering some dangers.Students also should try their best to adapt society.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：he bar chart illustrates the distribution of the part time students in various grades of university. To be specific, Senior Four took a lion’s share,accounting for 88.24%，followed by junior year,occupying 71.93%.Meanwhile, sophomore and freshmanmade up71.13% and 67.77% respectively.

批改：本段基本完成了图表描述的任务，指出了各年级的数据及其排名。但存在用词不准确和格式问题，影响了作文

原文：part time students

批改：part time students → 通常指"非全日制学生"，与语境不符。此处应为 students doing part-time jobs 或 students engaged in part-time work。

原文：, Senior Four to

批改：Senior Four → 不符合英文表达习惯，直接使用 seniors 即可

原文：freshmanmad

批改：freshmanmade up → 缺少空格，应为 freshmen made up。

原文：ear,occ

批改：逗号后缺少空格：,accounting → , accounting；,occupying → , occupying

原文：ral factors contribute to this phenomenon.First,senior four have fewer classes.Students can have more time to do part-time job .Furthermore,as students grow older, they are increasingly able to adapt to society。Last but not least，as students grow older，the pressure on students to find job and adapt to society is increasing, and they have to start part-time jobs to prepare for the future.

批改：本段论证逻辑重复且不够深入。"有更多时间"是合理理由，但随后两次重复"随着年龄增长"和"适应社会"，未能提供新的、有深度的见解。

原文：do part-time job

批改：part-time job → 应为复数 part-time jobs

原文：d job a

批改：find job → 应为 find jobs

原文：n.First,s

批改：句号后缺少空格：phenomenon.First → phenomenon. First。

原文：sed on the above situation, I propose the following suggestions.Schools should help students better adapt to society and prevent encountering some dangers.Students also should try their best to adapt society.

批改：本段提出的建议过于空泛且与图表主题关联不强。结尾仓促

原文：prevent encounteri

批改：prevent encountering some dangers → 表达不自然。地道的说法是 avoid potential risks

原文：o adapt society

批改：adapt society → 介词缺失，应为 adapt to society

原文：should

批改：Students also should → 词序错误，应为 Students should also。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：10分

你的作文较好地完成了试题规定的任务。包含了所有内容要点，但允许漏掉1-2个次重点（即对"年级差异"的深层原因分析）。

语言表达：

语法与词汇：使用了一些较丰富的语法结构和词汇，语言基本正确。但存在严重的标点混用问题和个别基础语法错误。

句式方面：句式有一定变化，但部分表达不够地道。

内容层面：

结构与完整性：结构清晰，层次较严密。

论证充分性：论证是本文主要短板。理由重复且停留在表面，未能深入挖掘现象背后的原因；建议部分内容空泛，说服力不足。

修改建议

核心建议：统一标点使用，深化论证逻辑，使建议具体化。

彻底解决标点问题：在写作和检查时，务必全程使用英文标点（半角符号），这是学术写作的基本要求。

放弃重复理由，深挖具体原因：紧扣"年级"变量，提供更有深度的分析。例如：

职业规划的紧迫性：高年级学生面临毕业，更需要通过兼职积累简历资本、探索职业方向。

技能与自信的提升：随着专业知识和社会认知的增长，高年级学生更有能力找到与专业相关或要求更高的兼职。

提出具体、相关的建议：建议应紧扣"兼职"主题，具有可操作性。例如：

学校可提供职业规划讲座和可靠的兼职信息平台。

学生应学会平衡学业与工作，并选择与专业相关的兼职。

本文精解的2013年考研英语二范文，在启航教育AI智能批改系统中拿到了高分评价。快速揪出失分点，对着薄弱点学提升更快，是考研英语写作锦囊备考的贴心帮手。扫码预约，免费体验考研英语作文AI智能批改。