2013年考研英语二大作文失分点批改

本文是一份经过启航教育整理的2013年考研英语二大作文批改资料，对照考研英语作文话题写作框架与评分标准进行精细讲解。无论是词汇句式、段落衔接还是逻辑展开，本文都能为考研英语考生提供可直接套用的范例。

一、2013年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2013年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart depicts the changes in student" part-time job in a university. In the freshman year, the percentage of doing part-time jobs was 67.77% but in the senior year, this rate had substantially risen to 38.24%

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as increasing number of young people belive that in mordern society full of changes, challenges, an opportunity of jobs is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. In addition, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound enterprise system, enabling universty students to have ample opportunities for part-time job. considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising

what about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of doing part-time jobs is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：changes in student" part-time job in a university

批改：the proportion of students taking part-time jobs

原文：doing

批改：students doing

原文：was 67.77% but in the senior year, this rate had substantially risen to 38.24%

批改：这一段描述不对，开始是67.77%，怎么增长到38%了呢？

原文：as

批改：an

原文：an opportunity of jobs

批改：改为work experience

原文：enterprise system

批改：employment system，就业体系，不是企业体系

原文：for part-time job

批改：to take part-time jobs

原文：considering

批改：首字母大写

原文：The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as increasing number of young people belive that in mordern society full of changes, challenges, an opportunity of jobs is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. In addition, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound enterprise system, enabling universty students to have ample opportunities for part-time job. considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising

批改：论点较为清晰，词汇和语法结构丰富，注意拼写和语法错误

原文：what

批改：首字母大写

原文：doing

批改：加students做逻辑主语

原文：what about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of doing part-time jobs is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the following decades.

批改：good

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：9/15分。

1. 题目要求：作文内容主题明确，层次分明，但第一段描述不准确，总体字数偏少，150出头；

2. 语言表达：运用较复杂的语法结构和高级词汇，状语从句，非谓语结构和宾语从句变化使用，体现了英语水平；

3. 行文逻辑：采用恰当的衔接手法，内容较为连贯，老师评卷时会非常喜欢；

4. 改进建议：根据自己的基础，要多内化老师讲的高分词汇和模板句型，写作和背诵相结合，形成自己的语料库和写作思路，加油！

本文的2013年考研英语二高分范文只是启航教育考研英语作文话题写作锦囊的一小部分精华。2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班由斌哥主讲，配套锦囊妙句、写作模板、真题批改、精品图书与社群服务，是考研英语写作冲刺的不二之选。