考研英语一2016年大作文实例分析与批改

备战2016年考研英语大作文，先从研读经典高分范文开始。本文汇集的启航教育批改范文中，不仅有原文、批注，还有词汇注释与亮点解析。准备2027考研的同学，可联系启航教育在线咨询考研英语一写作高分规划。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left hand picture, there is a father smoking and watching TV while telling his child that he should study hard. In another picture, father and child both doing their own job very hard. The topic of pictures is being a good example better than just giving requirement. Evidently, the pictures intend to convey to readers that parent"s" behaviour plays an important role in children"s life.

This phenomenon is thought provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, parents shouldn"t just ask their children to work hard. What is more, they should try their best to be a good example to refresh their children.

In brief, being a good example to child is the ker to help family to create a better enviroment for each member, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we create a happier life.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：while

批改：并列动作，and telling

原文：father and child

批改：a father and his child are

原文：ker

批改：key

原文：requirement

批改：改为demands, requirements是必需品，必备条件

原文：In the left hand picture, there is a father smoking and watching TV while telling his child that he should study hard. In another picture, father and child both doing their own job very hard. The topic of pictures is being a good example better than just giving requirement. Evidently, the pictures intend to convey to readers that parent"s" behaviour plays an important role in children"s life.

批改：有点矛盾，话题是榜样，又说父母行为

原文：This phenomenon is thought provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, parents shouldn"t just ask their children to work hard. What is more, they should try their best to be a good example to refresh their children.

批改：这段内容太短了

原文：In brief, being a good example to child is the ker to help family to create a better enviroment for each member, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we create a happier life.

批改：结尾可以

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：10/20分。

1. 题目要求：作文内容主题明确，层次分明，但是字数太少，第二段撑不起来主题观点；

2. 语言表达：运用复杂的语法结构和高级词汇，定语从句，非谓语结构和倒装句型很棒；

3. 行文逻辑：采用恰当的衔接手法，内容连贯；

4. 建议：文章原创度很高，值得鼓励，同时继续深入学习老师讲的高分词汇和模板句型，把内容写丰满，充实，加油！

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