本文是一份经过启航教育整理的2017年考研英语一大作文批改资料,对照考研英语作文话题写作框架与评分标准进行精细讲解。无论是词汇句式、段落衔接还是逻辑展开,本文都能为考研英语考生提供可直接套用的范例。
一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目
考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文
In the lest-hand picture,there is a man sitting on a chair,and saying, "I have so many books”.On the contrary,in the right-hand portrayal,there is a man saying,’’ I will try my best to read the twenty books in this year.”Evidently,the picture intends to convey to readers that winning knowledge from actions is the brush that paints a bright future,while daydreaming without taking action is the shackle that hinders progress.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,Take actions is the source that we win the knowledge,Actions is the only way to solidify knowledge into our mind. On the other hand,Mere daydreaming brings us nothing,on the contrary,it only leads us into empty emotion.
In brief ,Take actions is the catalyst for development,from which we all stand to benefit.Therefore,we should actively advocate this practice.Additionally ,we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of daydreaming to ensure our growth stays on course.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: the lest-hand picture,there is a man sitting on a chair,and saying, "I have so many books”.On the contrary,in the right-hand portrayal,there is a man saying,’’ I will try my best to read the twenty books in this year.”Evidently,the picture intends to convey to readers that winning knowledge from actions is the brush that paints a bright future,while daydreaming without taking action is the shackle that hinders progress.
批改:开篇描述清晰,对比结构使用得当
原文:inning knowledge fr
批改:“winning knowledge” 搭配不太常见,可以优化为更地道的 “acquiring knowledge” 或 “gaining knowledge”。
原文:his phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,Take actions is the source that we win the knowledge,Actions is the only way to solidify knowledge into our mind. On the other hand,Mere daydreaming brings us nothing,on the contrary,it only leads us into empty emotion.
批改:本段的正反论证逻辑清晰,说理透彻。“solidify knowledge into our mind”这个表达非常形象。
原文:,Take actions is the
批改:Take actions is” 存在语法错误,动词原形不能直接作主语,应改为动名词形式 “Taking action is”。“Actions is” 主谓不一致,应为 “Action is” 或 “Actions are” (但“Action”作为抽象概念通常不可数)。“leads us into empty emotion” 表达可以更精准, “leaves us in an unproductive state” 或 “leads to unfulfilling fantasies” 会更地道。
原文:f ,Take actions is the catalyst for development,from which we all stand to benefit.Therefore,we should actively advocate this practice.Additionally ,we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of daydreaming to ensure our growth stays on c
批改:结尾段总结有力,再次升华主题。“catalyst”(催化剂)和“detrimental effects”(有害影响)这两个高级词汇的使用非常准确。
原文:Take actions is
批改:“Take actions is” 应改为 “Taking action is”。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15
你的作文内容切题,结构严谨,论证充分,并成功使用了高级词汇和复杂句式。主要的提升空间在于语法结构的精准把握,如动名词作主语和主谓一致。
总评与建议:
同学,你这篇作文最让老师欣赏的是你严谨的结构和地道的修辞。你不仅能精准地描述漫画对比,还能运用精彩的比喻让说理非常有力,这非常难得!
当前,我们可以集中精力提升语法结构的精准度。你的宏观架构和词汇储备都很棒,现在需要让微观的句子结构与之完美匹配。我的核心建议是:
掌握动名词作主语:请牢记,当一个动词(如take, win)需要充当句子的主语时,必须使用其动名词形式(taking, winning)。这是英语写作中的一个核心语法点。
关注主谓一致:写完句子后,快速检查一下主语和谓语动词的单复数是否匹配。
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