考研英语一2016年大作文实例分析与批改

2016年考研英语一大作文围绕哪一类话题命题？本文精选的范文聚焦考研英语一大作文话题方向，结合启航教育多年考研英语一教学沉淀，从描述图表、解读寓意到发表评论三大角度，完整呈现高分作文的内在结构。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand picture,there is a man,sitting on a chair,and saying to a boy，“son,study hard”,while the boy filling with disappointment.On the contrary,in the right-hand picture,there is a man who studying with his boy,and the boy studying harder.Evidently,the picture intends to convey to readers that set an example is the brush that paints a bright future,while just give orders is the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,Set an example,rather than just give orders,effectively boosts a children’s motivation.This serves as a guide,encouraging children to imitate the behavior and become equally hardworking. On the other hand,Only give an order instead of set an example,greatly reduces child’s motivation,and play a negative role in their life.

In brief,Set an example is the catalyst for development,from which we all stand to benefit.Therefore,we should actively advocate this practice.Additionally,we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of only give orders instead of set an example to ensure growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： left-hand picture,there is a man,sitting on a chair,and saying to a boy，“son,study hard”,while the boy filling with disappointment.On the contrary,in the right-hand picture,there is a man who studying with his boy,and the boy studying harder.Evidently,the picture intends to convey to readers that set an example is the brush that paints a bright future,while just give orders is the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：开篇描述清晰，对比结构使用得当

原文：he boy filling with disappoin

批改：the boy filling with disappointment” 缺少谓语动词，应为 “the boy is filled with disappointment”。“there is a man who studying” 和 “the boy studying harder” 都存在语法错误，应为 “a man who is studying” 和 “the boy studies harder”。“set an example is” 和 “just give orders is” 中，动词原形不能直接作主语，应改为动名词形式 “Setting an example is” 和 “just giving orders is”。

原文： phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,Set an example,rather than just give orders,effectively boosts a children’s motivation.This serves as a guide,encouraging children to imitate the behavior and become equally hardworking. On the other hand,Only give an order instead of set an example,greatly reduces child’s motivation,and play a negative role in their life.

批改：本段的正反论证逻辑清晰，说理透彻。“serves as a guide”这个表达用得很好。

原文：Set an example,

批改：同上文一样，“Set an example” 和 “Only give an order instead of set an example” 作为主语，应改为动名词形式 “Setting an example” 和 “Only giving orders instead of setting an example”。“a children’s” 中，“children”是复数，所有格应为 “a child’s” 或 “children’s”。“play a negative role” 的主语是单数，谓语动词应为 “plays”。

原文：rief,Set an example is the catalyst for development,from which we all stand to benefit.Therefore,we should actively advocate this practice.Additionally,we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of only give orders instead of set an example to ensure growth stays on course.

批改：结尾段总结有力，再次升华主题。“catalyst”（催化剂）和“detrimental effects”（有害影响）这两个高级词汇的使用非常准确。

原文：f,Set an

批改：同样，“Set an example is” 应改为 “Setting an example is”。“only give orders instead of set an example” 应改为 “only giving orders instead of setting an example”

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

你的作文内容切题，结构严谨，论证充分，并成功使用了高级词汇和复杂句式。主要的提升空间在于语法结构的精准把握，如动名词作主语和谓语动词的一致性。

总评与建议：

同学，你这篇作文最让老师欣赏的是你严谨的结构和地道的修辞。你不仅能精准地描述漫画对比，还能运用精彩的比喻让说理非常有力，这非常难得！

当前，我们可以集中精力提升语法结构的精准度。你的宏观架构和词汇储备都很棒，现在需要让微观的句子结构与之完美匹配。我的核心建议是：

掌握动名词作主语：请牢记，当一个动词（如set, give）需要充当句子的主语时，必须使用其动名词形式（setting, giving）。这是英语写作中的一个核心语法点。

关注主谓一致：写完句子后，快速检查一下主语和谓语动词的单复数是否匹配。

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