考研英语写作模板命题趋势越来越关注社会热点与考生思辨能力。本文带来的2024年考研英语一批改范例,透过图表/图画深挖现象背后的本质,由启航教育老师逐段精批,可帮助考生建立稳定的考研英语写作思维框架。
一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目
考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand cartoon, there is a teenager saying that it is very nice to build a park near his home. On the contrary, in the right-hand bar chart clearly depicts the number of certain city"s park in latest three years. In 2020, the number of park was 406, but by 2022, this figure had risen to 670. Evidently, the cartoon-istintends to convey to readers that it is park that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, as the conductor orchestrating symphony of changes, our goverment has made tremendous efforts to build affluent parks, enabling residents to enjoy the beauty of nature. What"s more, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society. people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction, they also pursue spirital enjoyment. This explains why the number of parks increasingly rise.
What about future trends? I"m confident that the number of parks will steadily increase in the following decades. Parks is the catalyst for societal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore we should actively protect it.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:trends? I"m confident that the number of parks will steadily increase in the following decades. Parks is the catalyst for societal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore we should actively protect it.
批改:结尾段简短有力,预测合理
原文:arks is the cataly
批改:Parks is -> Parks are (主谓一致) catalyst (催化剂) 这个词用得极为精准和高级,生动地体现了公园对社会发展的推动作用,是全文的点睛之笔。 Therefore 后应加上逗号。 最后一句中,前文主语是复数 Parks,而 protect it 的 it 指代不清且单复数不一致。建议改为 protect them 或 protect these public spaces。
原文:enon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, as the conductor orchestrating symphony of changes, our goverment has made tremendous efforts to build affluent parks, enabling residents to enjoy the beauty of nature. What"s more, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society. people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction, they also pursue spirital enjoyment. This explains why the number of parks increasingly rise.
批改:本段的原因分析是你的强项,视角宏观,逻辑清晰。特别是将政府比作“指挥家”,以及从物质需求上升到精神需求的分析,都体现了你深刻的洞察力
原文:s the conductor orchestrating symphony of changes, our goverment has made tremendous efforts to build aff
批改:as the conductor orchestrating symphony of changes 这个比喻非常新颖且文采斐然,是文中的亮点。建议在 symphony 前加上冠词 the。 in the wake of... society. people... 此处句号使用错误,导致句子不完整,应改为逗号。 紧随其后的 people are no longer..., they also... 是一个逗号粘连句,连接了两个完整句子。可以改为 people are no longer...; they also... 或 people are no longer..., and they also...。 the number of parks increasingly rise 中,主语 the number 是单数,谓语动词应使用第三人称单数形式 rises。
原文:rment has made tremendous efforts to build affluent parks, enabling residents to enjoy the beauty
批改:goverment -> government (拼写错误) affluent parks -> ample parks 或 high-quality parks (affluent 多形容财富,修饰公园不够贴切) spirital -> spiritual (拼写错误)
原文: contrary, in the right-hand bar chart clearly depicts the number of certain city"s park in latest three years. In 2020, the number of park was 406, but by 2022, this figure had risen to 670. Evidently, the cartoon-istintends to convey to readers that it is park that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:第一段成功地对两幅图进行了描述,并提炼出了核心论点,这非常棒
原文:n the contrary, in the right-hand bar chart clearly depicts the number of certain city"s park in latest three years. In 2020, the number of park was 406, but by 2022, this figure had risen to 670. Evidently, th
批改:On the contrary 使用不当,该短语用于表示截然相反的情况,而漫画和图表是相互印证的关系。建议改为 Meanwhile 或 In the corresponding bar chart。 in the right-hand bar chart clearly depicts... 存在语法杂糅,应去掉 in,改为 the right-hand bar chart clearly depicts...。 the number of certain city"s park 和 the number of park 中,park 均应为复数 parks。 in latest three years 应补充冠词,改为 in the latest three years。 cartoon-istintends 是拼写错误且未分开,应为 cartoonist intends。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15
同学,你这篇作文完成得相当出色!它最突出的优点在于:结构严谨完整,原因分析深刻且能紧密结合社会现实。你对“政府主导”和“精神需求”这两个原因的阐述,以及“催化剂”的比喻,都展示了优秀的思辨能力和语言潜力。
你的作文已经具备了冲击高分的绝大多数要素。如果希望在细节上追求卓越,老师建议你关注以下两点:
语法的精细打磨:请特别留意主谓一致、逗号粘连句和固定搭配这类语法细节。在完成写作后,留出1-2分钟快速通读检查,确保句子的准确性
逻辑的显性衔接:在连接两个完整的英文句子时,确保使用正确的连接词(如and, but, so)或分号,避免逗号粘连。
关于2024年考研英语一大作文,如果你还有其他疑问,或是想进一步研读考研英语写作模板高分范文,欢迎在线咨询启航教育的答疑老师。同时报名2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班,即可加入考研英语研友社群,开启冲刺伴学。
【28考研辅导课程推荐】:28考研集训课程,VIP领学计划,28考研VIP全科定制套餐(公共课VIP+专业课1对1) , 这些课程中都会配有内部讲义以及辅导书和资料,同时会有教研教辅双师模式对大家进行教学以及督学,并配有24小时答疑和模拟测试等,可直接咨询在线客服老师领取大额优惠券。
热门下载
资料下载
院校解析
真题解析
考研数学
考研英语
考研政治
考研备考