考研英语一2013年大作文失分点批改

本文精选了一篇得分13分以上的2013年考研英语一大作文高分范例，并附启航老师对该范文的逐句批改。文中清晰展示了考研英语写作技巧评分细则中关于语法多样性、词汇丰富度与逻辑连贯性的得分技巧，是考研英语学习的高价值内容。

一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目

考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文

As shown in the picture, there are many young peoples standing at the intersection of life ,which is including fund a job ,continue study,and open a company for oneself.Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is choice that can exert a great influence both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges, current election has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident.On the other hand，wrong choice is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

Therefore, the choice ,which is a pervasive social phenomenon, is a double-edged sword which can have a profoundly positive or negative influence on the development of young people. When facing this phenomenon, we need to extract its essence while eliminating its drawbacks, delving into how to maximize the positive impact and effectively mitigate or alleviate the negative aspects.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：peoples

批改：people本身就是集合名词是复数

原文： is including

批改：includes

原文：fund

批改：finding

原文：open a company for oneself.

批改：创业可以表示为：starting up business

原文：As shown in the picture, there are many young peoples standing at the intersection of life ,which is including fund a job ,continue study,and open a company for oneself.Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is choice that can exert a great influence both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：current election

批改：right choice

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges, current election has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident.On the other hand，wrong choice is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：能够通过正反两方面进行论述来突出论点，能够运用逻辑关系词，使得句子之间衔接较为连贯。

原文：Therefore, the choice ,which is a pervasive social phenomenon, is a double-edged sword which can have a profoundly positive or negative influence on the development of young people. When facing this phenomenon, we need to extract its essence while eliminating its drawbacks, delving into how to maximize the positive impact and effectively mitigate or alleviate the negative aspects.

批改：起到了呼吁和号召的作用，紧扣主题，语言连贯完整。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16/20

内容切题，准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意第一段描述图画内容的选词恰当；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯；语法方面，注意非谓语的正确使用。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的很认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节问题会更好。继续加油。

本文精解的2013年考研英语一范文，在启航教育AI智能批改系统中拿到了高分评价。快速揪出失分点，对着薄弱点学提升更快，是考研英语写作技巧备考的贴心帮手。扫码预约，免费体验考研英语作文AI智能批改。