考研英语一2016年大作文失分点批改

本文精选了一篇得分13分以上的2016年考研英语一大作文高分范例，并附启航老师对该范文的逐句批改。文中清晰展示了考研英语写作锦囊评分细则中关于语法多样性、词汇丰富度与逻辑连贯性的得分技巧，是考研英语学习的高价值内容。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

Two cartoons are simple but enlighening, in which there are two people: a father and his son. In the left one,the father who is sitting on the sofa and watching TV, saying"son, you are supposed to study". In a sharply contrast,in the right one,the father and his son read their own books diligently until night. Finally several chinese characters can be noticed, which read that "making a model is better than giving a propose."

Such a scenario, apparently, can be associated with some parents" bad behaviors which are featured with only talking something but never do for their promise. Admittedly in the contemporary society a host of parents awful behaviors are frequently reported.by various media., such as staring at the cell phone beside a student, and talking loudly in the room. This phenomenon is worth particularly attention for the reason that these parents focus on their own comfort and enjoyment, ignoring the significance of estiblishing a study model. As a matter of fact. It is parents’ positive model impact that enables to enhance children"s passion for learning.

Accordingly, I deem that it is advisable for all parents to put down the phone, reject immoral behaviors and accompany their children to learn knowledge. Meanwhile, society as a whole should foster a positive atmosphere to inspire and educate parents to make a model.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：enlighening

批改：enlightening

原文：estiblishing

批改：establishing

原文：chinese

批改：Chinese

原文：he father who is sitting on the sofa and watching TV, saying"son, you are supposed to study"

批改：这句话没有谓语，要不saying改为say，要不who去掉，改为：the father is sitting on the sofa, watching TV and saying

原文：In a sharply contrast

批改：In sharp contrast

原文：propose

批改：proposal

原文： worth particularly attention

批改：改为 “worth particular attention” 或 “worth paying particular attention to”

批改：去掉

原文：society

批改：后面加逗号

原文：enables

批改：enables children

原文：never do for their promise

批改：doing what they promise

原文： immoral behaviors

批改：改为unhealthy behaviors会好些

原文：make a model

批改：改为set an example好些

原文： accompany their children to learn knowledge

批改：accompany their children in learning会更自然

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：10/20

1.题目要求：字数符合题目要求。文章需要分析图画并标明观点，符合题目要求。

2.语言表达：语言表达清晰，但存在一些语法错误和拼写错误，考生需注意。

3.内容层面：基本包含题目要求的内容。

4.修改意见：文章整体较完整，结构较为清晰，按照描述漫画、阐述哲理和提出呼吁的顺序进行写作。然而存在一些语法错误和拼写错误，考生需多加注意。建议考生在写作时认真检查，注意语法和单词的准确性。

本文精解的2016年考研英语一范文，在启航教育AI智能批改系统中拿到了高分评价。快速揪出失分点，对着薄弱点学提升更快，是考研英语写作锦囊备考的贴心帮手。扫码预约，免费体验考研英语作文AI智能批改。