考研英语写作模板命题趋势越来越关注社会热点与考生思辨能力。本文带来的2016年考研英语一批改范例,透过图表/图画深挖现象背后的本质,由启航教育老师逐段精批,可帮助考生建立稳定的考研英语写作思维框架。
一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目
考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father, smoking and watching TV, while demanding his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand cartoon, both the father and son are devoted to their studys. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future, while negative examples are the shackle that hinders their progress.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, positive examples can ignite childs" enthusiasm, and promote their growth and self-fulfillment,thus making life rewarding and meaningful. On the other hand, negative examples set by parents are like a heavy chain that hinders children" s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
In brief, positive examples are the catalyst for societal and personal development from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure our growth stays on course
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father, smoking and watching TV, while demanding his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand cartoon, both the father and son are devoted to their studys. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future, while negative examples are the shackle that hinders their progress.
批改:能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象,并能够直接点明作文的主题。
原文:childs
批改:child的复数是children
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, positive examples can ignite childs" enthusiasm, and promote their growth and self-fulfillment,thus making life rewarding and meaningful. On the other hand, negative examples set by parents are like a heavy chain that hinders children" s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
批改:该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述,语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子,值得表扬。
批改:加逗号断句
批改:加and
原文:In brief, positive examples are the catalyst for societal and personal development from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure our growth stays on course
批改:能够提出自己的建议,起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:17/20
内容切题,准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,注意一些特殊词汇的复数形式,如child;句式方面,要注意正确断句以及使用连接词。逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,结构清晰。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的很认真,无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰,值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。
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