考研英语一2016年大作文实例分析与批改

想在考研英语一大作文中写出有深度的论证段落？本文精解的2016年考研英语一真题范文，从论据选择、过渡句使用到结尾点题都极具参考价值。启航教育考研英语教研组对该篇范文的批注，有助于考生建立完善的写作逻辑。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, a father is watching TV and requires to his son, "You must study hard." Conversely, in the right-hand picture, another father is studying diligently himself alongside his son, setting a positive example instead of just making demands. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey that positive example is the brush that paints a bright future, while negative example is the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, a positive example can ignite children"s creativity, promote personal growth, and lead to self-fulfillment, thus making life meaningful and rewarding, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, a negative example acts as a heavy chain that hinders a child"s development,leaving them with a pessimistic outlook and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, setting a positive example serves as a catalyst for both societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate for this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative example to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：requires to

批改： ​​tells his son

原文： himself

批改：删除，冗余表达

原文：positive example

批改：a positive example

原文：negative example

批改：a negative

原文：In the left-hand cartoon, a father is watching TV and requires to his son, "You must study hard." Conversely, in the right-hand picture, another father is studying diligently himself alongside his son, setting a positive example instead of just making demands. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey that positive example is the brush that paints a bright future, while negative example is the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：good，准确描述了漫画内容及寓意

原文：a child"s

批改：children"s，与后面的them保持一致

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, a positive example can ignite children"s creativity, promote personal growth, and lead to self-fulfillment, thus making life meaningful and rewarding, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, a negative example acts as a heavy chain that hinders a child"s development,leaving them with a pessimistic outlook and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：正反两方面论述，词汇和语法结构丰富

原文：negative

批改：加a

原文：In brief, setting a positive example serves as a catalyst for both societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate for this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative example to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改：excellent，再次照应主题

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17/20分。

1.作文内容包含全面，主题明确，层次分明，考试使保持这样的结构；

2.运用复杂的语法结构和高级词汇，定语从句，非谓语结构和状语从句变化使用，体现了英语水平；

3.采用恰当的衔接手法，内容较为连贯，老师评卷时会非常喜欢；

4.根据自己的基础，要多内化老师讲的高分词汇和模板句型，写作和背诵相结合，形成自己的语料库和写作思路，加油！

无论你是2026年考生还是备战2027考研英语，精读本文的2016年考研英语一批改范例都能为你的写作带来提升。启航教育的写作主讲与AI智能批改系统全天候待命，为你的考研英语一作文真题冲刺保驾护航。