思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向,本文呈现的2011年考研英语一批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面,逐段展示了一篇考研英语写作冲刺高分范文的诞生过程。
一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目
考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文
As shown in the picture, two tourists,
who are sitting on a boat for sightseeing, are
throwing trash in the lake, which pollutes
the environment. Evidently, the picture intends
to convey to readers that littering is an
issue that requires great concentration both
in our personal lives and our society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in
several ways but two of them are particularly
significant. First and foremost, littering can
harm environment,pollute the nature, leading
to the loss of clear surroundings, it can also
damage personal image and reputation, which
is completely inconsistent with our traditional
morals. What"s more, tragically, although the
lack of clear regulations might contribute
to this phenomenon, the root cause lies in
the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit
of convenience, have disregarded the virtue
of protecting the environment.
How to put an end to this phenomenon?
It is suggested by manys that we need a package deals, including issueing related laws and strengthen moral edutation. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to strengthen self-discipline. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle this issue at its core.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:As shown in the picture, two tourists, who are sitting on a boat for sightseeing, are throwing trash in the lake, which pollutes the environment. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that littering is an issue that requires great concentration both in our personal lives and our society.
批改:能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象,并能够直接点明作文的主题。
批改:加and连接两个并列分句
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, littering can harm environment,pollute the nature, leading to the loss of clear surroundings, it can also damage personal image and reputation, which is completely inconsistent with our traditional morals. What"s more, tragically, although the lack of clear regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, the root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of convenience, have disregarded the virtue of protecting the environme
批改:该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述,语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子,值得表扬。
原文:manys
批改:many
原文:deals
批改:单数
原文:issueing
批改:issuing
原文:strengthen
批改:strengthening
原文:edutation
批改:education
原文:It is suggested by manys that we need a package deals, including issueing related laws and strengthen moral edutation. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to strengthen self-discipline. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle this issue at its core.
批改:该段能够针对图画现象提出自己的解决措施,注意避免拼写错误。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:16/20
内容切题,准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,注意避免拼写错误,名词单复数要使用正确;句式方面,句子结构完整连贯;语法方面,注意including介词后加动词ing形式。逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,结构清晰。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的很认真,无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰,值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。
启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2011年考研英语一范文,正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改,扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语写作冲刺免费批改名额。
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