2013年考研英语二大作文真题与例文批改

一篇高分的考研英语大作文，常常具备结构清晰、句式多变、词汇地道三大特点。本文精解的2013年考研英语二批改范例，每一段都体现了这三大要素，启航教育考研英语二写作冲刺教研组对该范文进行了详细的亮点标注。

一、2013年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2013年考研英语二大作文批改例文

This table shows the four parts of students at college that having jobs in the current year . The all rates of jobs involvement is above average effect—about 75%of all students are joined .Have an increase in rate with year in school ,67.77%of the freshman ,71.13%of the sophomore ,71.78%of the junior ,88.04%of the senior .

There are many benefits of jobs for students .For example ,It can make more experience that confers work skills than school . It is importance for one’s career . It also enhances the student’s personal development and self–independence .In addition , it helps students discover their interests ,that helping them make better choices .

As such ,this data is very amazing ,speaking greatly to the increasing awareness of self–development of the students.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：s table shows the four parts of students at college that having jobs in the current year . The all rates of jobs involvement is above average effect—about 75%of all students are joined .Have an increase in rate with year in school ,67.77%of the freshman ,71.13%of the sophomore ,71.78%of the junior ,88.04%of the senior .

批改：本段基本完成了对图表的描述，指出了数据随年级上升的趋势。但句子结构不完整，逻辑衔接生硬，且存在关键数据错误（71.78%应为71.93%），影响了信息的准确传递。

原文：he four parts of studen

批改：the four parts of students at college that having jobs → 结构错误，that having 应改为 who have。

原文：he all rates of jobs invol

批改：The all rates of jobs involvement is above average effect → 表意不清且语法错误。The all rates 错误，应为 All the rates；is 主谓不一致，应为 are

原文：ave an increase in rate with ye

批改：Have an increase in rate with year in school → 这是一个不完整的句子片段，缺少主语。

原文：75%of all stud

批改：75%of all students are joined → 空格缺失 (75% of)，且 are joined (被加入) 语态错误，应改为 participate 或 are involved

原文：ere are many benefits of jobs for students .For example ,It can make more experience that confers work skills than school . It is importance for one’s career . It also enhances the student’s personal development and self–independence .In addition , it helps students discover their interests ,that helping them make better choices .

批改：本段论述了兼职的好处，观点本身是合理的。但论证过于笼统，未能与首段揭示的“高年级参与度更高”这一现象建立深刻联系，逻辑链条较为薄弱。

原文：make more experie

批改：It can make more experience → 搭配错误。"获得经验"应为 gain experience

原文：is importance for

批改：It is importance → 词性错误，名词 importance 误用，应改为形容词 important。

原文：that helpi

批改：,that helping them → 语法错误。that 引导定语从句时，后面应接完整谓语动词 helps，或者将逗号后改为分词短语 , thus helping them...。

原文： self–independe

批改：self–independence → 用词冗余，independence 已包含“自我”的含义

原文：uch ,this data is very amazing ,speaking greatly to the increasing awareness of self–development of the students.

批改：结尾段过于简短，未能有效总结全文或升华观点

原文：very amazin

批改：very amazing → 表达过于口语化，可改为 highly revealing 或 very impressive

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：8分

你的作文基本完成了试题规定的任务，包含了多数内容要点，但漏掉了个别次重点（如对数据趋势的深入解读）。

语言表达：

语法方面：存在多处基础语法错误，包括句子结构不完整、主谓不一致、动词形式错误、从句使用不当等，部分错误影响理解。

词汇方面：词汇量有限，存在搭配错误和明显的中式英语表达。

句式方面：句式结构简单，且在尝试写复杂句时出现错误。

内容层面：

结构与完整性：结构基本清晰，但段落内部和段落间的逻辑连贯性不足。

论证充分性：论证较为空泛，未能紧密结合图表数据展开深入分析。

修改建议

提升语言准确性，加强论证与数据的关联。

夯实语法基础：重点解决句子完整性、主谓一致和动词搭配等核心语法问题。在写作中，优先确保每个句子的正确性，然后再考虑复杂性。

积累地道表达：通过阅读范文，学习和记忆与主题相关的核心词汇和固定搭配（如 gain experience, career preparation, personal development），避免逐字翻译。

深化论证逻辑：让论述紧扣图表。例如，在分析兼职好处时，可以明确指出这些好处如何解释了“高年级学生参与度更高”的现象（如：随着职业规划意识增强，高年级学生更积极地通过兼职获取经验）。

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