考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大,一直是2023年考研英语一备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语一真题话题,给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文,文中不仅有逐句批注,还附有可复制的考研英语一高分写作模板。
一、考研英语一2023年大作文题目
考研英语一2023年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay based on the picture below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2023年大作文批改例文
As is vividly illustrated in cartoon given above, there are some young people who paddle drogan boats, with crowded on both rever sides watching the game. An aged women express her happiness that drogan boat competition game is getting increasingly lively over the years in her villiage. The depict tell us we should emphasize the inheritance. of traditional culture.
There is no denying that our chinese in recent years have been attach importance to carring of the traditional culture and bring it to vitality. obviously, faciliting the development of villiage needs joint coordination in multiple fields It means that not only improve the econmic level. but also foster a vibrunt cultural atmosphere Morever, Restoring rural inheritance capture the attention of young generation and making them appreciate how charming our chinese culture.
From my point of view, drogan boat game is just a example that foster the traditional hof villiage. Some good case blowing my mind now are communication meeting annually, sporting meeting that are excellent ways for the villicge, However, what we commonly lack is insisting to finish cit ethusiastically and carefully instead of thinking it a just simple task Finally,the activity can be meaningful indeedly.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:s is vividly illustrated in cartoon given above, there are some young people who paddle drogan boats, with crowded on both rever sides watching the game
批改:错误:① 缺少冠词(cartoon 前加 the,特指 “上述漫画”);② 拼写错误(drogan 改为 dragon;rever 改为 river);③ 用法错误(crowded 是形容词,with 后需接名词短语,改为 crowds of people;both river sides 改为 both sides of the river 更自然);④ 冗余表达(who paddle 可简化为 paddling,更简洁)。 修改:As is vividly illustrated in the cartoon given above, there are some young people paddling dragon boats, with crowds of people watching the game on both sides of the river.
原文:An aged women express her happiness that drogan boat competition game is getting increasingly lively over the years in her villiage.
批改:错误:① 名词单复数错误(women 改为 woman,对应 An);② 主谓不一致(express 改为 expresses);③ 拼写错误(drogan 改为 dragon;villiage 改为 village);④ 冗余表达(competition 和 game 重复,保留 dragon boat competition)。 修改:An aged woman expresses her happiness that the dragon boat competition in her village has been getting increasingly lively over the years.
原文:The depict tell us we should emphasize the inheritance. of traditional culture
批改:错误:① 词性错误(depict 是动词,改为名词 depiction);② 主谓不一致(tell 改为 tells);③ 标点错误(inheritance 后多余句号,删除);④ 表达不完整(inheritance 后加 of,完整表达 “传统文化的传承”)。 修改:The depiction tells us that we should emphasize the inheritance of traditional culture.
原文:There is no denying that our chinese in recent years have been attach importance to carring of the traditional culture and bring it to vitality
批改:错误:① 大小写错误(chinese 改为 Chinese);② 语法错误(have been attach 改为 have been attaching,现在完成进行时;bring 改为 bringing,与 attaching 并列);③ 拼写错误(carring 改为 carrying);④ 搭配错误(carrying of 改为 carrying forward;bring it to vitality 改为 bring it back to vitality,“让文化重焕生机” 更符合语境)。 修改:There is no denying that our Chinese people have been attaching importance to carrying forward traditional culture and bringing it back to vitality in recent years.
原文:obviously, faciliting the development of villiage needs joint coordination in multiple fields It means that not only improve the econmic level. but also foster a vibrunt cultural atmosphere
批改:错误:① 大小写错误(obviously 改为 Obviously);② 拼写错误(faciliting 改为 facilitating;villiage 改为 village;econmic 改为 economic;vibrunt 改为 vibrant);③ 句子结构混乱(It means that 后缺少主语,改为 it means we should not only improve;句号多余,改为逗号);④ 逻辑跳跃(补充 “乡村发展” 与 “文化传承” 的关联,使过渡更自然)。 修改:Obviously, facilitating the development of villages requires joint efforts in multiple fields. It means we should not only improve the economic level but also foster a vibrant cultural atmosphere.
原文:Morever, Restoring rural inheritance capture the attention of young generation and making them appreciate how charming our chinese culture
批改:错误:① 拼写错误(Morever 改为 Moreover;chinese 改为 Chinese);② 主谓不一致(Restoring 作主语,capture 改为 captures);③ 缺少冠词(young generation 前加 the);④ 宾语从句不完整(how charming our Chinese culture 后加 is)。 修改:Moreover, restoring rural cultural inheritance captures the attention of the young generation and makes them appreciate how charming our Chinese culture is.
原文:From my point of view, drogan boat game is just a example that foster the traditional hof villiage.
批改:错误:① 拼写错误(drogan 改为 dragon;hof 改为 culture;villiage 改为 village);② 冠词错误(a example 改为 an example);③ 语法错误(that foster 改为 that fosters,或改为 to foster,表目的更清晰);④ 表达冗余(game 改为 competition,与前文一致)。 修改:From my point of view, the dragon boat competition is just an example to foster the traditional culture of villages.
原文:Some good case blowing my mind now are communication meeting annually, sporting meeting that are excellent ways for the villicge,
批改:错误:① 名词单复数错误(case 改为 cases;meeting 改为 meetings;villicge 改为 village);② 语法错误(blowing 改为 blow,主谓一致);③ 表达不当(communication meeting 改为 annual communication meetings;sporting meeting 改为 sports meetings;for the village 改为 for villages,表泛指);④ 标点错误(句末逗号改为句号,或补充并列内容)。 修改:Some good cases that blow my mind now are annual communication meetings and sports meetings—these are excellent ways for villages to inherit traditional culture.
原文:However, what we commonly lack is insisting to finish cit ethusiastically and carefully instead of thinking it a just simple task
批改:错误:① 拼写错误(cit 改为 it;ethusiastically 改为 enthusiastically);② 搭配错误(insisting to finish 改为 the perseverance to carry things out;a just simple 改为 just a simple,形容词顺序错误);③ 指代模糊(it 改为 these cultural activities,明确指代前文提到的传承活动)。 修改:However, what we usually lack is the perseverance to carry out these cultural activities enthusiastically and carefully, instead of thinking them just a simple task.
原文:Finally,the activity can be meaningful indeedly.
批改:错误:① 拼写错误(indeedly 改为 indeed);② 指代模糊(the activity 改为 these activities,与前文一致);③ 表达稍显平淡(can be 改为 will be,语气更肯定)。 修改:Finally, these activities will be truly meaningful.
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:14/20
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