考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大,一直是2013年考研英语一备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语一大作文话题,给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文,文中不仅有逐句批注,还附有可复制的考研英语一高分写作模板。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
As the drawing vividly depicts, we can observe a group of college graduates facing multiple paths after graduation, including job-hunting, postgraduate entrance exams, studying abroad, and entrepreneurship.
In the image, these graduates stand at a critical turning point: various options lie before them, while they seem to be in hesitation. The intended meaning of the drawing is clear: graduation marks a moment of crucial life choices, which reflect the diverse opportunities and challenges young people encounter in modern society.
There are two main reasons why such choices matter. On the one hand, rational choices align with one’s strengths and goals, which can lay a solid foundation for future development. On the other hand, blind hesitation may lead to missed opportunities and confusion about life directions.
In conclusion, this scene reminds us that college students should prepare for choices in advance. By clarifying personal aspirations and enhancing their abilities, they can make wise decisions and embrace a promising future.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:he drawing vividly depicts, we can observe a group of college graduates facing multiple paths after graduation, including job-hunting, postgraduate entrance exams, studying abroad, and entrepreneurship.
批改:开篇直接点明漫画主题,很好。“As the drawing vividly depicts”是非常地道的开篇句式
原文:he image, these graduates stand at a critical turning point: various options lie before them, while they seem to be in hesitation. The intended meaning of the drawing is clear: graduation marks a moment of crucial life choices, which reflect the diverse opportunities and challenges young people encounter in modern society.
批改:本段进一步阐释画面并引出寓意,逻辑顺畅
原文:re are two main reasons why such choices matter. On the one hand, rational choices align with one’s strengths and goals, which can lay a solid foundation for future development. On the other hand, blind hesitation may lead to missed opportunities and confusion about life directions.
批改:这一段从正反两方面论证了“选择为何重要”,观点清晰
原文:ths and goals, which can lay a solid foundation for future development. On the other hand, blind hesitation may l
批改:在指出“理性选择能奠定基础”之后,可以补充一句这样选择带来的积极结果,例如,“...thereby paving the way for personal fulfillment”(从而为个人成就铺平道路)。同样,在指出“盲目犹豫会导致错过机会”后,也可以点明其更深层的影响,如,“...and ultimately a sense of regret”(并最终导致悔恨)
原文:onclusion, this scene reminds us that college students should prepare for choices in advance. By clarifying personal aspirations and enhancing their abilities, they can make wise decisions and embrace a promising futur
批改:结尾段总结全文,并提出解决方案,结构完整
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15
你的作文内容切题,结构严谨,论证清晰。主要的提升空间在于句间衔接的流畅度以及论述的深度。
总评与建议:
同学,你这篇作文最让老师欣赏的是你严谨的结构和准确的立意。你能够清晰地构建“描述-寓意-分析-总结”的框架,并能提出“明确个人志向”和“提升能力”这样具体的建议,这非常可贵。
当前,我们可以集中精力提升论述的层次感与语言的流畅度。你的文章骨架很好,现在可以致力于让血肉更丰满。我的核心建议是:
追求深度论证:在提出一个观点后,可以尝试再深入一步,思考“然后呢?”,点明其带来的更深层结果或影响,这样能让你的论证更有力。
优化逻辑衔接:多积累和使用不同的连接词和句式(如分词结构、定语从句),让句子与句子、段落与段落之间的过渡更自然、更紧密。
如果你也想让自己的考研英语一作文拿到理想分数,可以将本文的范文与老师批注作为标杆反复研读。同时,启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班已正式启动报名,在线咨询可获考研英语一大作文高分资料礼包。
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