考研英语一2016年大作文真题与例文批改

考研英语一作文模板每年的命题都会折射出当年的社会热点。本文呈现的2016年考研英语一批改范例，从生活实际出发，紧扣命题意图。启航教育老师在批注中详细指出了图（表）描述、原因分析与建议评论的合理答题节奏。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon,there is a father,watching TV and requiring his son to study .On the contrary,in the right- portrayal,there is a father sitting on chair and learning with his children.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that good example is the brush that paints a bright future,while bad model is the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significanct.First and foremost,while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated,the virtue of making good example is one that should never loss its luster,as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving.What is more,bad example is like a heavy chain that hinder"s children"s progress,leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief,good example is the catalyst for societal and personal development,from which we all stand to benefit.Therefore,we should actively support and advocate this practice；additionally,we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of bad example to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：he right- portr

批改：“in the right- portrayal” 应为 “in the right-hand portrayal”。

原文：ting on cha

批改：“a father sitting on chair” 中，建议加上冠词，即 “sitting on a chair”。

原文：he left-hand cartoon,there is a father,watching TV and requiring his son to study .On the contrary,in the right- portrayal,there is a father sitting on chair and learning with his children.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that good example is the brush that paints a bright future,while bad model is the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：开篇段成功地描述了对立场景

原文：significanct.Fi

批改：“significanct” 是 “significant” 的拼写错误。

原文：he virtue of making good example is one that should never loss its luster,as it is an e

批改：“the virtue of making good example” 中，“making” 搭配不当，应改为 “setting a good example”。 “should never loss its luster” 中，“loss” 是名词，这里应用动词 “lose”。

原文：hinder"s chi

批改：hinder"s” 是错误的，应改为 “hinders”。

原文：s phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significanct.First and foremost,while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated,the virtue of making good example is one that should never loss its luster,as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving.What is more,bad example is like a heavy chain that hinder"s children"s progress,leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：本段论述有深度，也使用了高级词汇

原文：ief,good example is the catalyst for societal and personal development,from which we all stand to benefit.Therefore,we should actively support and advocate this practice；additionally,we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of bad example to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改：结尾段再次点题，并给出了积极的建议

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17分

总分与总评

这篇作文内容切题，结构完整，层次清晰，并熟练使用了丰富的语法结构和高级词汇。存在极少数语言错误。

总评与修改建议：

你这篇作文最让我欣赏的是你出色的语言修辞能力。开篇的“brush”和“shackle”的比喻，以及文中“catalyst”的使用。

可以考虑将“好榜样”与“坏榜样”的论述更严格地对应起来，比如用“On the one hand... On the other hand...”的结构。

巩固高频词的精准度：在写作后，可以快速检查一下如 “significant”, “lose”, “hinder” 等高频词的拼写和用法。

如果你觉得仅靠自学范文难以突破考研英语写作瓶颈，可以了解一下启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班。36句锦囊妙句、6类写作模板、配套精品图书与社群伴学，让考研英语一作文模板写作冲刺事半功倍。