思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向,本文呈现的2016年考研英语一批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面,逐段展示了一篇考研英语作文真题范文高分范文的诞生过程。
一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目
考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand cartoon, there is a man, sitting in a sofa and saying that you should study hard. On the right-hand portrayal, the man study with his son together. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that a good example is the brush that paints a bright future, while a bad example is the shackle that hinders progress.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the spirit of example is one that should never lose its luster, as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people. On the other hand, neglecting the power of example is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s, leaving them with a negative outlook on life, and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
In brief, a good example is the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additional, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of a bad example to ensure our growth stays on course.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:study
批改:要用单三 studies
原文:In the left-hand cartoon, there is a man, sitting in a sofa and saying that you should study hard. On the right-hand portrayal, the man study with his son together. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that a good example is the brush that paints a bright future, while a bad example is the shackle that hinders progress.
批改:对漫画的描述较为全面,个人观点正确,注意主谓一致问题
原文:children’s
批改:后面要补充名词growth
原文:additional
批改:additionally
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the spirit of example is one that should never lose its luster, as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people. On the other hand, neglecting the power of example is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s, leaving them with a negative outlook on life, and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
批改:从正反两面论述了榜样精神的意义和忽视榜样的危害,注意个别句子结构的完整性
原文:this practice
批改:表意模糊,可改为good examples
原文:In brief, a good example is the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additional, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of a bad example to ensure our growth stays on course.
批改:呼应论点,注意拼写的准确性和表意的清晰性
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:18/20
题目要求:对漫画的描述较为全面,个人观点及论述内容切题;
语言表达:全文用了较多的模板句,仅有个别用词不当,整体上思路清晰,表达通顺。但如果考试时需要使用模板句,记得结合题意灵活调整;
行文逻辑:第一段描述漫画内容并表达个人观点,第二段展开正反两面论述,第三段呼应上文,架构完整;
修改建议:改正原文错误;继续积累经典句式并灵活使用;注意语法问题;
这篇完成得比较好,继续保持啊~
启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2016年考研英语一范文,正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改,扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语作文真题范文免费批改名额。
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