考研英语一2016年大作文失分点批改

据启航教育英语教研组统计，考研英语写作模板话题连续多年成为考研英语一大作文的高频考点。本文带来的2016年考研英语一批改例文中，考生通过对社会热点的精准分析与地道表达，获得高分，其写作思路可供2027考研英语一考生直接借鉴。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a child studying and his farther is watching TV and saying "studying carefully! Right now!" On the contrary, in the right hand portrayal, a child is studying carefully with the company of his father. Eridently the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that keeping a good example to your children is an issue that we need to do.

This phenomenon is thought-provking in several ways, but two of them are particulary significant. First and foremost, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the viture of keeping a good example for your children is one that should never lose its luster, as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving. What"s more, it is like a heavy chain that hinder"s children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life if they learn some negative custom from you.

How can we put an end to the problem of educating your children? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including strengthening the guiding role of the media in public opinion and encourage parents to take action actively. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to strengthen self-discipline. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： farther is watching TV and saying "studying carefully! Right now!" On the contrary, in the right hand po

批改：“farther” 是 “father” 的拼写错误；“Eridently” 是 “Evidently” 的拼写错误。

原文：he left-hand cartoon, there is a child studying and his farther is watching TV and saying "studying carefully! Right now!" On the contrary, in the right hand portrayal, a child is studying carefully with the company of his father. Eridently the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that keeping a good example to your children is an issue that we need to do.

批改：你成功描述了对立场景，并清晰提炼出核心寓意

原文：ught-provking in several ways, but two of them are particulary significant. First and foremost, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the viture of keeping a good example for you

批改：存在几处拼写错误：“thought-provking” 应为 “thought-provoking”；“particulary” 应为 “particularly”；“viture” 应为 “virtue”。

原文：nder"s c

批改：“hinder"s” 是错误的，应改为 “hinders”。

原文：t is like a heavy

批改：第二个论点的表述 “it is like a heavy chain...” 指代不清，且与第一个论点在逻辑上不平行。建议明确主语，如 “Parental bad habits are like a heavy chain...”

原文：s phenomenon is thought-provking in several ways, but two of them are particulary significant. First and foremost, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the viture of keeping a good example for your children is one that should never lose its luster, as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving. What"s more, it is like a heavy chain that hinder"s children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life if they learn some negative custom from you

批改：本段包含了深刻的见解，特别是将“树立榜样”与民族传承联系起来，立意很高。我们可以在逻辑衔接和指代清晰度上稍作加强。

原文： encourage pa

批改：encourage” 应改为动名词 “encouraging” 以保持与 “strengthening” 的平行结构

原文：put an end to the problem of educating your children? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including strengthening the guiding role of the media in public opinion and encourage parents to take action actively. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to strengthen self-discipline. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

批改：结尾段尝试提出解决方案，思路是好的

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15分

总分与总评

这篇作文基本完成了试题规定的任务，包含了多数内容要点。但在语法结构、词汇准确性和衔接方面存在较多错误。

总评与修改建议：

这篇作文最让老师欣赏的是你深刻的立意和宏大的论述视角。你不仅能精准地解读漫画，还能将“榜样作用”与民族美德和传承联系起来，这体现了你优秀的思维潜力。

当前，我们可以集中精力做好一件事：“提升语言表达的准确性与逻辑连贯性”。

强化语言基础：建议重点巩固高频词汇的拼写（如father, evidently, virtue, particularly）和基本句型结构。写作后可以快速检查这些细节。

理清段落内部逻辑：在提出论点时，确保它们之间是平行或递进的关系，并使用恰当的连接词来明确这种关系。

复习考研英语大作文，务必要重视范文精读+专业批改的双向结合。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，专为冲刺阶段考生打造，从话题预测到写作模板一应俱全，是考研英语写作模板写作提分的可靠方案。